Hi all.
I am in abit of a predicament, and getting extremely fed up of getting no help whatsoever from certain services for mum. Last week she was placed in a mental health hospital after having a breakdown. When we have gone to see her, she has been quite happy and jolly and seems to enjoy people around her. But it’s exhausting otherwise.
Every day she has expected someone to go and see her; it’s getting too much with everything else to. Both me and my sister are going alternative days, but it’s getting too much with work and stuff. She also says she doesn’t want to go home; however, it’s getting very difficult to look after two houses, feed her cat, and tidy up. My sister is also pregnant. Although, I do think she’s starting to realise the amount of stuff I have to put up with.
There is also the risk that her benefits will be stopped if she’s in there a long time, and there is no money elsewhere to pay for things but she thinks we can ring them up and say ‘my partner died’ and then suddenly the bills go away.
As my sister said she ‘can’t just expect a laugh all the time.’ But this is what she wants. When we go and see her she is laughing and joking with other patients, and introducing us.
This has all happened for several reasons mainly lack support from a certain service - The Community Mental Health Team. I found out last night from one of the workers at the hospital that she was referred to this service three years ago this week, (not the two i thought) and they have done nothing to help her. She was supposed to be given a care coordinator who would help her within the community, but there is nothing.
I submitted a complaint in August after trying to get answers for ages, but they never ever called back despite saying they would. Promises were made but not kept. The same day I submitted the complaint, they called me with a ‘review’ which we attended. It was still determined that she needed help, however they were more concerned about getting me to drop the complaint. I was told it would take a couple of months. Nothing.
Mum started with symptoms of depression a few weeks ago and went to the hospital. Nothing was picked up at this time. A few days later she went back and was given home based treatment. She went back again a couple of days later, and was given a bed on a ward nearby.
Lots of services have raised their concerns with the community mental health team, social services are demanding answers, other mental health teams have said that they have failed her.
I submitted another complaint and guess what they called the same day again, and said they would get urgent treatment but they haven’t even responded to anything.
She has met loads of people on the ward and is doing relatively well. However, she was saying she isn’t ready to go home as she doesn’t want to be alone at home. She keeps asking me if I will take her out abit more. The thing is I already do. My sister also does. She goes out on a weekend, she goes for meals. Thursday night I would pick her up from her friends after Karate, Friday I would take her out for a meal somewhere, then Saturday she would go out in the afternoon, and then Saturday night, she would go to the pub, and more often than not she would ring me crying because someone would upset her. She cannot cope with the pub, but still goes, and it would be the same people who have upset her.
She does mine and my sisters head in because she will have the same conversations about pub over and over again.
She claims I am always at work so don’t take her out, but its what pays for her to go out. I do karate six hours a week but that seems to much to her. I also do some volunteering for a few hours on a Sunday occasionally but she doesn’t even like that and always wants to tag along.
She had a review today, lots of people did and some have gone home or elsewhere, and now she is sad because of it. We told her its not a club, they are now talking about moving her to another ward while they get an OT assessment done, or she might stay and get the assessments done before they discharge her. There were lots of people from different services there, and once again the Community Mental Health Team were invited but never responded or even bothered to reply. They need shutting down.
Its like she wants to be a professional victim, but she doesn’t realise how lucky she is. She is well looked after, but if she doesn’t have attention for five minutes she crumbles.