Hi Im a non live in carer for my mum who has been diagnosed with Delusional Disorder and now early stage dementia. She has no insight into either condition. One of her delusions involves money - although she is quite well off she believes she is unable to spend her money. This has meant family financially supporting her and paying for all her food shopping. She is housebound also now as prone to falls so shopping and delivery ordered online. This is beginning to cause financial strain. Has anyone els had any experience of this?
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Welcome Daisy Jo
Your situation sounds v difficult.
Contact the help line for this carers uk site.
You or someone in your family will need to become officially in charge of her bank accounts.
This may take some time, it took us a year of talking with our caree and the bank and the psychiatrist but it needed to happen. Many emails and letters later we now have oversight of all caree bank accounts. Before this happened we were spending about ÂŁ2000 a year on paying caree bills.
Hope you can get this sorted
Nice to meet you
Join in with Roll call for chats as well as your post if you wish to have friendly conversations about day to day life.
Warmly Ula
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Hello, Daisy Jo. I am not being funny, but many people of sound mind have difficulty in parting with money - of which they have plenty - even for essential things.
In your case, your Mum definitely needs to grant power of attorney to a close relative, as Ula has suggested. This needs to be done as soon as possible, and I fear it could be difficult; it may already be too late. Talk to your bank about it.
There may be a quick solution to managing her DWP money. They have an âAppointeeâ scheme. Once approved, you become legally responsible for her benefits, you set up a new bank account in your name, and then manage it for her. If you use a debit card for all payments, and keep receipts on a weekly or monthly basis, it enables you to use her money on her expenses. Never use your own money ever again after this. My son is brain damaged, canât read, write or do any maths, so Iâve always been his appointee.
If your Mum does not have full mental capacity then you she wonât be able to grant Power of Attorney. You will need to apply to the Court of Protection to be appointed as âDeputyâ so that you can manage her finances on her behalf. Itâs not an easy route to take but from what youâve said probably the only one.
Age UK have an easy to understand factsheet here
What happens if you don't have a power of attorney | Age UK.
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Thank you all for your replies. I really appreciate them as Ive felt very alone with this and her condition is quite rare Ive been told. She does have mental capacity legally. I have got a POA which Im taking over tomorrow while her mental health nurse is there to certify. I am hoping she does sign! She is very suspicious of everything and everyone so not guaranteed. Its then a long wait for it if she does.
There are things she could do in the interim like get a carers card etc but she isnt amenable. She doesnt get benefits but she is going to get Attendance Allowance which her nurse applied for and asked to be paid into my account. Can i use this for her groceries bearing in mind if I dont she wouldnt be able to get any food?
Hi DaisyJo
Youâre going to have to buy her food.
Sorry it is so complex and distressing for you.
I hear you weighing up all the dilemmas and hope you can believe in how amazing you are and your family should be all be proud of you.
Ula
Daisy Jo, how old is mum? If she is under pension age then she is entitled to PIP, not Attendance Allowance. PIP is much higher than Attendance Allowance.
Yes you can - AA is designed to pay for anything that the recipient needs - My Mum used to use hers to pay for a window cleaner and a gardener - plus she used to pay some to me towards the running costs of my car (which was used mainly for her benefit !). Some people use it to pay towards extra care visits.