Mother passed away

I still can’t believe it but, after years of suffering with MND, my mother passed away on Thursday. At least she is at peace now. Thanks to everyone for all your advice and support whenever I posted a query. Best wishes to everyone - take care - stay safe.

The loss of a parent is so sad but after a long illness, there is relief too, there are many feelings. Be kind to yourself, remember this is a forum for former carers too. Get in touch if there is anything we can help with.

Thanks - yes it has been very hard going. I expect I will pop back sooner or later

I will have to sort Mum’s bank account soon:
I could go online and cancel some direct debits and transfer the rest of them to my account - and remove all £ from the current and ISA but perhaps it would be easier to get the bank to deal with it all bearing in mind that I have power of attorney. Of course they will want a copy of the death certificate. The registrar has contacted me and said she would post a copy to me. As I am ‘self isolating’ I am hoping that whoever needs a copy of the certificate will accept a pdf which I can send by email as I do not intend to go out to the post office for the foreseeable future.

Months ago the bank, when I told them about my power of attorney, insisted that I should attend an interview at their branch before they would allow me to run the account and they made photo-copies of the P of A documents (I only did this so I could write cheques and I’ve only written one since and they bounced it). It was a week or so later that they advised that I would need to attend another interview if I was to do online banking. I’d already told them that I had done all of Mam’s banking for years. I certainly did not bother booking another meeting. I suppose the way all that looks I should just go ahead and do it myself.

Do NOT touch mum’s money yet.
The Power of Attorney does not apply now, as mum has died. You MUST go through the formal process now.
Does mum have over about £20,000 or own any property (Yes/No).
Did mum leave a will?
Are you an only child?

Very sorry to hear of your loss, JustthisGuy, a very difficult time for you.

When my mum died, I seem to recall that the bank insisted on seeing the original death certificate. I would check with them first. However, no urgency, be kind to yourself and take one job at a time.

Thinking of you,
Anne x

Amounts banked are less than £20k
There is a will and it states that the house is mine to live in as long as I choose to do so
I have 4 brothers and one sister


In that case, there is some work to do before anything can be changed.

As mum has left a will, then the executors of the will need to apply for “probate” and then they will have to tell the Land Registry that mum has died. Whilst you can live in it as long as you want, that suggests that there is a trust, or that it is owned jointly.

This may be a bit complicated, I would urge you to take legal advice.

To explain further - ownership of the property is shared between myself and my siblings. If I decide to sell up or move out it would be divided between us

Yes, you are joint new owners. The will executors must apply for probate and tell the Land Registry. My mum tried to avoid doing this and left me with a mess to sort out. I know what I’m talking about!

I’m sure you do. Ii was not arguing or even questioning just explaining further

Sorry, that came across the wrong way. I was reflecting what a mess it was. When I was newly widowed, newly disabled, left with a business to run and a son with learning difficulties having endless problems with his carers, this was absolutely the last thing I needed. My two brothers were, as always “too busy” to help!

Sorry to hear your brothers were always ‘too busy’

Another former MND carer here, too. My Gran passed from this in February of this year. It’s definitely something you can’t quite believe has actually happened, after such a long time of watching them go through the illness.

I just wanted to reach out to say that you’re not alone- I hope you will be able to use this lockdown time as time to get some much-needed rest.

I’m sorry to hear that your mother has passed away and condolences on your loss. My brother and I have just been through this after our Aunt died in January. We had Power of Attorney but as bowlingbun said, that lapses as soon as the person dies so is no longer relevant.

As our Aunt’s bank account balance was under 50k, her bank (Santander) was happy to release those funds without a grant of probate, so we were able to use those funds to pay for the funeral (even if you do need to wait for probate, banks will pay the funeral director’s bill from the deceased’s account). She owned a house and we did have to apply for probate in order to be able to have ownership transferred to us to sell it. We didn’t use a solicitor to do that but in your case if the house is to be held in trust for you to live in for the rest of your life, that would be advisable. Obtaining probate only took 4 weeks, even in the current corona virus crisis.

Just thisguy

So sorry to hear this.

Even when we know its going to happen soon…its still a terrible shock, that nothing can prepare you for.

I have managed to do some resting. Thanks

Usually I’d suggest that this is time for a holiday, not really an option at the moment, but I’m glad you have managed to get some rest. You have so much rest to catch up on, but feel really proud of what you did.

Sorry to hear about your Mum, Thisguy. As you say she is now at peace. Take care of yourself as best you can.