Hi I’m new on here I was given this site to see if it would help me my husband has ptsd depression and anxiety I find it hard to speek to others about how I feel as I find some people don’t understand what I go through is there anyone that knows and understands
Hi Carol and welcome,
there are carers on here with experience of caring for someone with mental health issues. I’m sure they will be along to offer support.
Ok thank u.
As we currently understand it, posttraumatic stress disorder is a collection of symptoms characterised by intense anxiety and depression, which are caused by a single traumatic incident or a series of traumas. This occur when a person is unable to cope with the trauma(s) they have undergone in a healthy way.
Most existing recognized treatment approaches concentrate on initial symptom management—assisting the client in reducing panic attacks and dissociations (commonly referred to as “flashbacks”), as well as being able to deal with these symptoms in the moment if they do arise. The counselling transitions to gaining awareness and acceptance of the symptoms until the person is more secure in their ability to treat them.
Hi Carol, no one really understands what it means to be a carer, unless you are a carer.
It affects everything you do, but no one wants to know.
When I meet my closest friend, I hear about her daughters dramas in their lives with their husband and kids.
I’d just settle for my 42 year old brain damaged son to be able to read, write, and manage his own money!
Hello Carol, yes I know how you feel. I care for my 90 year old mum who lives near me. When my sisters come round I feel like I’m Cinderella! Everything they say is about Mum and her needs. It feels like I’m not allowed to have other interests/friends/hobbies. Oh no I’m just there for my mum! Plus they always find something to moan about (that’s obviously my fault because I’m there every day!).
It’s got to the point now where I just stay away when they visit Mum. This is sad though because I’d love to have more people to talk to during these difficult times.
Hi all it’s just hard because people think I’m the strong one I can keep going and to be honist I’m not the strong one I have feelings and I do break down it’s hard
Karen, I had two brothers.
One lived 60 miles away, an easy hour’s drive, especially in his fast, flash car.
His work took him all over the UK, but sometimes mum wouldn’t see him for over a year. He kept saying he was coming down on a particular day, she would get excited, get extra food etc. and then at the last minute something would crop up, usually the kids had a cold!
The other brother was an aircraft engineer, working all over the world, but easily able to get to the UK if he wanted to. He once flew to Korea for the DAY (!) just to sign a plane off as fit to fly!!
We usually saw him about every 18 months, I looked after his house nearby and had POA for him.
I usually cooked him a nice meal, then he would tell me what MORE I should be doing for mum. Never mind the fact that I was widowed, trying to run my husband’s business, selling 30 tons of lorry spares, and caring for my son with severe learning difficulties, all whilst using a walking stick waiting for two knee replacements!!!
Never once did my brothers take mum out in their cars for a drive through the New Forest, where we live.
Think of relatives like this as “helicopters”. They drop in, find fault, and then fly away again, possibly for over a year in my case.
Even when mum was dying, the first brother was too busy to visit.
So just think “here comes a helicopter” when they visit!
However, if they can’t be bothered to care, remember that they have absolutely no right to be involved in any decision making concerning mum’s care. When did you last go on holiday? Will they step in???
I only joined the forum myself today and have just found your post.
My husband had a mental breakdown last April/May and is no better now than he was 12 months ago when it all came to a head. It seems to be a mix of severe anxiety, depression and possibly also PTSD due to a traumatic, abusive childhood and a career in the emergency services.
I totally empathise with the challenges you face at home. I am so tired, worn out, drained, frustrated that everything at home is falling on me whilst also trying to perform well at work.
Happy to be in contact with you.
Hi thank u for messaging yes to try and work run a home pay bills and deal with your partner not knowing what’s going to happen on a daily basis luckily now he has the surport he needs and they are actually caring about me to which is nice sometimes u feel like a emotional mess well I do anyway
Hi Bowlingbun, Many thanks for your feedback.
To be fair my sisters do provide some help for my mum. My eldest sister visits once a week and takes mum shopping which is a great help. Fortunately mum is still able to do her own personal care (for the time being!). It’s just they seem to expect me to do cleaning and everything else. I also have a disability - I’m partially sighted. They certainly are like helicopters - cause disturbance and then disappear!
I’ll feel much better when the covid restrictions are lifted.