I have an unknown and undiagnosed mental health condition, which I have struggled with from a very young age. Over the years I have tried to identify what this condition may be, but I haven’t found any answers. I initially believed it was some form of Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome, but I have been advised by doctors it is not likely to be either of these.
This is reinforced by the fact that I have no problems understanding other people and the world around me. I am educated to university level and I work in a technical role, so I wouldn’t say I have difficulty understanding anything.
One of the main issues I have is that I lack the basic skills that are required to socialize effectively with people. I cannot make effective conversation with people, especially in a group setting, because I simply don’t know how to. I have no natural rhythm to the way I speak - it is very monotone and people lose interest very quickly.
From the outset I may appear “normal”, but as soon as I engage in conversation it becomes apparent that something is a bit off with me. It isn’t just the verbal communication side of things - it’s things like facial expressions and body language. I just don’t know how to do these things. I feel like I am completely missing social skills. I was previously referred to CBT, but that did not help at all. I feel that this condition cannot simply be “coached”. I don’t have much of a character or personality - if you asked someone about me they wouldn’t be able to tell you much.