Managing your finances

My husband had three brain hemorrhages last year and is now totally dependent on care, he lacks capacity physically and mentally. He was discharged from hospital to a local nursing home, and has recently been through the DST review and is only recommended for FNC, while in a care Home.
I feel his quality of life will be much better if he returns to our own home, and I am starting the process of finding home carers. He is a ‘self funder’.
I am finding it really hard to get my head around how to manage our finances. We are both retired and our only income is our pensions. We also have money in our current accounts and some savings accounts. Everything we have is in joint names. I know this means that we should be judged to have equal shares, but if my husband’s half of our assets is supposed to pay for his care, doesn’t this mean that I have all the responsibility for all the household expenses as well as my own living costs? Or do I have to try to work out what is half of all household bills and deduct this from his ‘notional’ half, and leave the remainder in the ‘care pot’?
Has anyone else managed to sort this out? Are there any organisations that can give advice on this matter?
I would appreciate advice from anyone who has coped with this problem.

Have you appealed against the Continuing Healthcare decision? Were you involved at the assessment? Given a written copy of the decision? Who did the assessment?