Looking for someone to talk too

Hi my name is Lindsay and I’m 28, I care for my mum Monday to Friday. My mum got diagnosed in August with early onset Alzheimer’s she’s 57 years old. It can be quite hard sometimes as i am a single mum to two children. I was just seeing if there is anyone on here going through the same thing as me and would just like a chat, even though I have supportive friends I can feel alone at times as they’re not going through what I am going through and can’t relate. Thank you :slight_smile:

Welcome to the forum.
I spent fifteen years juggling the needs of five family members all entitled to highest disability benefits. During that time I had major lifesaving surgery, lost my husband suddenly, and nearly died in a car accident, left disabled for years. On the verge of a breakdown I had counselling. I recommend it to you. I was encouraged to set my priorities. My disabled son had to take priority over mum. She didn’t like this, but accepted his needs were greater. She could afford to buy in some care. I had a RIGHT to choose what I did, and didn’t do. I managed mum’s money for her, carers managed her care.
May be setting priorities would help you?
Has anyone told you that mum is probably entitled to PIP?
Exempt from Council Tax?
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Does mum own or rent her home?
Have over £23,000 in savings? Yes/No.

Hello Lindsay and welcome to the forum. I hope you don’t mind me asking this but do they know why your mum got early onset Alzheimer’s in her 50’s?

Hi Lindsay and welcome,

sorry to hear about your Mum. You have your hands full!

Are you children in school?

Unfortunately only folk who have experience of caring, really understand what it’s like. We are all carers and ex-carers on here so we do understand, so feel free to post away.

We have Roll Call in the Members section where we post the equivalent of over the garden fence type chat, however it’s been rather quiet of late - in part due to the pandemic, less happening to chat about!

There is also a weekly online cuppa and chat event Online meetups | Carers UK


Hi Karen thank you for replying, we reckon she’s had it for a few years she was showing signs for example forgetting things at work that she had been doing for years, repeating herself, waking up early hours of the morning etc. We got in touch with her doctor and they done tests and found shrinkage in her brain then a few more tests later they diagnosed her with Alzheimer’s.

Hi Melly, thank you for replying. My children are in school they are 10 and 5 years old. It’s just hard juggling everything I’m not working at the moment and can’t see how I can. Just feel a bit stressed as universal credit are on my back plus in the process of claiming PIP for my mum so hopefully I can claim carers for her so that’ll be one less stress. Thank you I’ll have a look

Hi, sorry to hear it sounds like you’ve got a lot going on yourself must be hard. Yes we are in the middle of a claim for PIP just waiting to hear back for an assessment. We also have power of Attorney now. My mum owns her own house with my dad I’ve taken on the care role as my dad works and is the only one bringing in the money so I have her staying with me during the week. And yes they have over £23,000 savings between the two of them

That’s a very long time how are you coping with it all?

Thank you for the replies, I’ve replied back to everyone still trying to figure out how to work this site lol

Hello Lindsay

Welcome to our forum

As Melly1 said please do think about coming along to one of our weekly care for a cuppa session, we run them every Monday, it’s a very informal meetup where carers come together to chat, share advice and tips and take some timeout to chat to other carers. Many carers have said how they’ve found it really helpful and supportive and it’s nice to be able to take a little bit of time for yourself. There’s no pressure to share any more than you’re comfortable with. Join up details are here:


We would love to see you there Lindsay

with kind regards

I am a carer to both my children who are autistic. I have a disability myself which is hard enough to cope with my children so i do struggle. My daughters dad sticks around to help, he has recently had to give up his room be was renting as the person required this. He has been helping me during the lockdown with both kids and myself through everything practically now as my carer and my children.

I am thinking if its just best to let him move in however he is not working at present and i am not sure how this will affect us going forward with this whole new change etc. Who do i ask for advice around this going forward and what changes will affect my family…honestly i can’t do with any more stress it will tip me right over as much as i am trying to keep this together right now. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Ring CUK’s helpline for details of how dad moving back in might affect you financially. Personally I think he should have his own place, or it will make things more difficult for you. Are your kids getting all the benefits they are entitled to? Is their schooling sorted?