Hi all, new to the forum and new to the situation. Pretty lost at the moment so hoping for a bit of advice.
I’m 32 and an only child, I always lived at home with my elderly parents. My mum was medically high risk but still capable so no caring was required, though during lockdown she was shielding so I had been doing all the shopping and paying bills etc. Her older sister was undergoing assessment for dementia but it was decided that she was still doing ok, though things were starting to look a bit worse with her memory and everyday things.
Then in January my parents and i got really ill. I tested negative for covid but it turns out this was a false negative as both my parents were taken to hospital, tested positive and subsequently passed away within a few days. As a result of losing her only sister, my aunt’s capacity took a major nose dive and she was struggling a lot.
I’m the only family she has left and I have replaced my mum as power of attorney so the legal stuff should be ok, I’ve finally got access to her banking so i can set up DDs for all her bills and check everything is going out on time. I’m trying not to spend too much time with her because i will need to go back to work at some point and I’ve been told not to do too much because i won’t be able to continue it, which makes sense. We’ve been able to get carers coming in to give her medicine and make sure she eats and that’s been huge.
Last night i took her medicine round for the week (she has a locked box now after some went missing) and got a shopping list for today. While i was getting ready to leave this morning i got a call from the carer saying there was no food in the house to make lunch and the tin opener was lost, so I explained i was just going to get shopping. When i dropped it off however my aunt said “Oh yes i didn’t have anything this morning so I just went to the local shop and got some meat for sandwiches.” This is despite the doctor telling her on video call not to go further than just around her sheltered housing complex by herself as twice now she’s lost track of where she lives these are just the incidents that I know of, fortunately I was with her both times and was able to make sure she got home ok.
Do you have any advice on what I can do to make sure she has what she needs and also dissuade her from going out alone? I’ve duplicated shopping with the warden or a neighbour before too when they will ask her if she needs anything and she forgets she has already spoken to me about getting it.
I’m struggling enough just trying to look after myself and my own house right now without trying to help her as well, I keep waiting for things to improve but it just feels like there’s always another thing going wrong or coming up that you dont expect
If you made it to the end thank you for reading all the way through.