Introducing me and my caring situation

New to Carers Connect
81

Excellent.

I am glad you are enjoying the tech and the programmes.

Yes, Walt Disney produced his early stuff on his own, but he must have practised and practised over and over again. He would have also learnt his craft by studying techniques.

Walt Disney actually used a technique called Rotoscoping a lot. This is a really cool technique, it’s abit like what we do for motion capture now. So imagine a rabbit was dancing, they would actually film a man dancing the sequence, and they would take each frame as in the traditional film reel and draw over it in the bunny character to make it look like the bunny is dancing. It’s how they worked out how to do complicated movements.

Also if you think of it every great animation/company has a very particular art direction. If you enjoy watching cartoons like I do, look how different places do the same thing even though they are all different.

Think of stuff like early Disney.
Then you have Warner bros with stuff like Looney Tunes. (I love looney tunes).
Then you have Hanna Barbera with stuff like Scooby Doo and Tom and Jerry.
Then you have more modern stuff like Matt Greoning with the Simpsons and futurama. Disney Pixar, and Aardmann studios.
Then look at Cartoon Network stuff and the work of Butch Hartman. You also have Studio Ghibli. Every single one of these places started out with one or two people who had an idea and they learnt their craft in order to get a bigger team. All of them had a vision. I bet all of them never realised how big they would get.

Also some animators don’t have to be that great to be famous. in the case of Rik and Morty look how the early stuff corresponds to what it is now.

You can’t expect people to follow your direction, if you don’t know it yet. Just learn and have fun, find your own direction. No one ever got famous by copying anyone else.

You also have to think about what these peoples skills are. I don’t know how much the typical animator earns in a year. However, I would hope that anyone who is good is on a fair bit of money based on their skills.

Animation takes a very long time, even one second of a sequence can take days depending on its intricacies and type of technique used.

Minimum wage in the U.K. is now 11.44, with £1500 that will allow someone to work 131 hours before they are paid under minimum wage. In the animation world that’s not a lot of time considering one second could take 20 hours.

Also you have to factor in tax, NI and god knows what the government will tax us on next. and that animator would then only earn around 1200 if that. £1200 a month in this economy is not plausible. I earn £1500 a month after tax, I live in a shared house and struggle month by month. No decent animator would work for that amount because they wouldn’t be able to live. An 18 year old student in their dorm would probably accept anything they could get, but an experienced animator would not.

There is also a saying amongst creatives, never do anything for free or heavily reduced Yes do a couple of high discounts to those closest to you, however never do mates rates or anything like that. It cheapens the work these people do, and it creates the assumption that anyone who works in that industry can do it for cheaper. and it puts emphasis on the fact that you don’t care about how they survive.

Voluntary or charity/non-profits bases are somewhat different depending if it’s a small charity, even then bigger charities can afford it too.

82

OK, great stuff,
Yeah so but the thing I was annoyed at about this particular animator that I hired that I paid 1500 is that she not only did the one episode and incorrectly but also never finished the work by leaving out the voice acting which was supposed to be included in the 1500 price. She told me that I should just provide one of the voices. I don’t have recording equipment to do that and ehen I told her to change it and modify it she just ignored me. After pestering her she blocked me. So now I have an unfinished animation I can’t do anything with. I’m really P-ed off about it.
I’m not annoyed about paying 1500 just annoyed at paying 1500 for unfinished work. Clearly a scammer.
I’m afraid to hire another animator because I clearly don’t know which are scammer and which aren’t anyway.

So, could you tell me how I can find some trusty students who will do it?

As we are both students at this we can work together.

I could try and get my friend to quit her job and just focus on my project haha just kidding.

But anyway yes all this stuff sounds really fascinating and interesting I’d be quite happy to learn about it.

You’re right that I make excuses not to do things. This usually happens when I feel discouraged or lost interest slightly. It could be due to lack of self confidence or mild depression but I’ve got to just force myself and get into a routine and habit. I feel like I’d be in better habits and better able to focus if I were to move out and not focusing on mum and caring for her anymore.
I am working on moving out too.
I just am still waiting to hear from the housing people

84

I think that it’s been a long time since I have posted here so I am going to post an update.

I was in touch with the doctor in June of 2023 and let her know about my situation and told her that being my mums carer is very hard and told her of all the struggles and difficulties I’ve been having
(I can’t remember if I mentioned any of this already)
But she became concerned and wanted to help me. For some reason she took it upon her self to just show up unannounced to our house which of course mum was not happy about.
According to mum she also showed up to the house unannounced when I wasn’t there.
I don’t know what was said at all.
The doctor put me in touch with a woman from my areas council housing and she proved to be less than useless.
She arranged an appointment with me but then changed it last minute via text which I never saw. I apologised for missing her text and asked her if we could arranged another appointment.
(she was supposed to text me the day before to remind me and confirm the appointment the next day but instead she texted me on the day and when it was too late).
She never replied so that was the end of that.
The doctor never bothered to follow up with me again.
So the new year of 2024
My ex bf jake gave me some charity contact details for me to contact to help me so I got in touch with one called the lgbt foundation who deal with all sorts of problems that anyone straight or lgbt face.
I got put in touch with an abuse support worker who put me in touch with a few different services. Non of them were any help including the (my area) housing. They assigned me a housing officer we will called Anne, I’m unsure if I should use real names.
All she did was tell me to sign up for jigsaw homes who h I’ve been told is not right for me. I’ve been told I should go for
Supported or assisted living which doesn’t come under them at all.
I told her that’s what I wanted but she just never put me in the right direction.
Just asked me to fill out a form which I couldn’t do it.
I gave my abuse support worker the answers so she could fill out the form on my behalf.

Because it took me a while to do it due to technical difficulties they blamed me and Anne just started ignoring me and wouldn’t reply to me unless I sent many emails to her. I had to pester her alot.
It’s been another year and no progress has been made due to her ignoring me and I even got in touch with the general council housing email address and let them know my problems with their worker. My assigned officer. They just forwarded my email to her which I didn’t want them to do because it was private and confidential.
It didn’t make any difference.
I signed uo for jigsaw homes out of desperation but my friends told me that I don’t want to do that because I’ll just be placed in any old dive surrounded by druggies and people trying to take advantage of me in my vulnerable state.
Jake said I should get a support worker first and go to Anthony seddon. He bugged me about it so we finally went in may of 2024.
I got a couple of sessions of therapy with their “safe” therapists.

After telling my situation from child to current day they agreed my situation was really bad and like modern day slavery so they said they were going to do all this stuff for me and put me in touch with all the appropriate people and safe guard me.
So far nothing has happened.
I got passed from person to person and even a different therapist. From the original who did say I was in a dior situation.
I felt like this other therapist didn’t really give a toss. She didn’t seem concerned about it much at all. So I figured either they never say my notes or anything or just doesn’t care.

She was supposed to be putting me in touch with the right people to get me a support worker

I’ve just been ignored and heard nothing from anybody since.

Since then mum told me she knows I’ve been telling people about how bad she is.
Now I’m thinking that doctor must’ve blabbed because she’s the only person I told that could possibly tell my mum.

So now I feel like there’s no hope. And nobody gives a toss about me do I’ve no idea how I shall escape unless somebody comes along to let me live with them or I find a partner or friend I can move in with. I’ve tried asking neighbours and my friend becky but for some reason they don’t want to help. I’ve even asked my dad and he doesn’t seem to care.

I’ve now just come to the realisation that I’m just stuck here until mum dies and I’ve resigned to just do my best to sort the house out n declutter it. I’ve managed to sell some clothes and stuff and give stuff to charity or throw stuff away without mum knowing.
I’ve made a tiny bit of money and got rid of stuff but the house is still an absolute mess it doesn’t matter how much I get rid of it’s stuff piles and piles of crap everywhere.
Now mum says she’s going to spend a tonne of money on a new gate, a new rail, new windows we don’t need when the inside is full of mould damp and desrepair and rat infestation. Talk about priorities.

I’ve tried to tell her that stuff isn’t important and it’s a waste of money but she insists she’s a grownup and will spend her money how she likes. But we all know that if she runs out of money she’ll make me pay for stuff we need

85

Hi @LordJeromiah

welcome back. You have busy trying to sort stuff. Unfortunately though you wont be a priority for social housing as you aren’t homeless and are single.

I still think the very best thing you could do is to find yourself a job (I know you aren’t keen on this idea) but it would mean you had money of your own, could save and then move out from home.

86

I’m dismayed that you mention rat infestation. This is awful.

Have you contacted the council?
There is a name for people like mum with such a serious psychological disorder, which I can’t remember right now.
Is your doctor aware of how serious the mess is?
In extreme circumstances, people can be removed from their homes.

87

Hi melly,

As I mentioned I went to see a couple of therapists at the Anthony seddon foundation
And they all agreed, including jake that I’m not in the right position to be getting a job. They said that’s not for now and would be too much for me.

I agree with them

The reason I can’t get a job is because I have not had a formal education and apparently you need that to qualify for even the simplest of jobs, which I think is stupid but heck. That’s the rules. I’d have to go through education and believe me I’ve been trying that too.
I even decided to just do it and try getting a job just to see what happened and what the process is, because quite frankly I wouldn’t even know how to go about getting a job so I looked it up online and I signed up for some job search thing and now I get bombarded by emails from somethings called zigo jobs, jobs bear and many many more!
Each job is something like psychologist, therapist, teacher (usually temp teacher for some reason) and ceo or manager or some other high up jobs.
I put in the specific job catagory that I was looking for simple jobs that any Tom sick or Harry without a special degree can do.
Shop assistant, waiter, clerk at a shop or burger flipper at mcdonalds and the like but nothing. It was either jobs you need university level degrees and qualifications for or the jobs were in a land far far away. Nothing local.
It was crazy.
I couldn’t think or focus with the bombardment of emails I got from all these different job hunting things.
I wondered if they were even genuine.
So I have up.
It’s too much and my mum wouldn’t let me do it anyway.
In her words"you have a job. You’re my 24/7 carer".

I spoke to someone at the job centre and I asked out of curiosity and they said I’d have to give up being her carer in order to get a job.

I wouldn’t mind giving up being her carer but I’m still cautious. I’d be losing money nd gaining the stress of job hunting and possibly not being able to find or get one.

Studying, which was bowling buns suggestion, for my gcses is just not on the cards right now I’m already stressed and trying to figure out a way to earn money from home.

If I could work from home that would be an option but going out to work is not realistic for me right now. Plus I’ve been advices by professionals it’s not a good idea.

Yes I keep being told I’m not a priority even tho I’m in an abusive situation which I think is crazy. I reckon I should be a priority, one of them. Butt that’s not the issue. The issue is that my supposed housing case worker is ignoring me and not putting me in the right direction for supported living.
If she doesn’t wanna deal with me coz she’s busy or I’m not a priority then fine. I am not arsed about that.
What bothers me is the lack of communication.
All she has to do is one phone call all just to put me forward for supported living and then she never has to deal with me again, which she wouldn’t because apparently that’s a separate department.
So my being a priority or not is not the issue. It’s that these people ignore you and don’t give you the decency of an honest response.

In fact if she doesn’t wanna deal with me I’d rather her tell me to get lost rather than ignore me lol. Abysmal service.

I do wish I was rich so I could just bypass these useless services and just get myself a house.

I’ve started selling on vinted and ebay. I’ve noticed gothic stuff goes for a bomb. So I’ll just get my hands on a bunch of cheap gothic gear and sell it for big money.

And also. If any of you guys know of a way I can get a regular work from home job I’d be internally grateful for that!

Like I said all this stuff isn’t my strong suit as I’ve never been shown how

88

Yeah it started in May of 2020 roughly and mum just wanted me to freaking capture them one by one and set them free at the park or canal!
It took ages and was gross. When I released them they were covered in their own urine and feces and jumped on me.
I was only able to catch the babies but the grownups didn’t touch the traps so they kept breeding.
She kept ending up in hospital with breathing problems and she told them about the rats so they offered to put her in touch with an exterminator who charged 100s of pounds just to put down some poison packets, which I could’ve done for 10 pounds.
The rats died in the walls and house and flies took over the infestation.
Then since then I’ve been borrowing poison from my neighbour (when she was friendly and helpful) because more rats would come along.
It took a while but mum finally hired someone to fill in the holes they were using to get in.

Now therw are loads of them in the garden. Can’t put poison out because mum doesn’t want birds and squirrels to be eating it and dying (tho I wouldn’t mind if the squirrels did because they get in the loft and sound like a herd of hoofed animals stampeding and chewing loudly when I’m trying to sleep. Of course mum doesn’t wanna get rid of them from the loft she actively tells any workmen we have here to lie to me about holes in the loft ) I say fill in the non holes anyway.
They won’t do it.

They are just getting in the garage now nd theres poop everywhere in there.

It’s the least of our problems now I’m more concerned about the mould and damp and other gross things. Since this recent heatwave and rain the house has become even more damp and sticky.

My mum wouldn’t leave this house if they grabbed and dragged her out kicking and screaming, which they wouldn’t do, she’s 70 and fragile and in pain, broken hip and no disks in spine lol.

She’ll have nobody interfering.
Like I said I’ve told doctors and social services who offered to help but she won’t have it. She just sends them away. She thinks they will make her leave this house.

89

If it is as bad as you describe I believe there is a Public Health Act that can be used as a last resort. It is a mental illness. So unfair on you to be expected to live like this.
There is a very serious illness, I think it’s called Weils Disease, caused by contact with rat urine. They just wee continually and wee everywhere, contaminating everything.
We had a problem some years ago in our garden, they were attracted by our neighbours chicken feed. The “rat man” came and put traps round our garden, they were designed so birds etc could not access the poison.
Fortunately some feral cats from a nearby farm decided they liked the garden and they were excellent rat catchers. Problem solved.
Another time the titled lady next door had a nest that I spotted just over the fence! The rat man dealt with that one.

90

Yes miss bun it is blooming awful!
There’s millions out in our garden cox guess what? Mum likes to put a frick tonne of wild bird seed, nuts, pellets and other feed outside. She buys like 60 quids worth and puts so much out every day that even between all the birds, squirrels and rats and even the cats eat it! There will still be alot of leftover seeds and pellets I’ve noticed.

Yes we get stray cats coming in the garden but they don’t seem to catch the rats. They stalk them, watch them and will even pounce every now and again. But they are clearly not catching them because there’s still loads of them.

I have put poison on the garage where they’re getting in. I put loads out so hopefully every rat will be attracted and eat it and die off.

My mum doesn’t want the ones living outside to be killed because she thinks that as long as they remain outside they’re no harm. I’ve tried to tell her they carry diseases and may even hurt the wild birds but she is in deniel, just like she’s in denial about the state of the house. She believes there is no mould and damp because the workmen sorted it out but it’s visible as all hell.

When she’s not in denial about the state of the house, she blames the state of the house on me. Yes, the mould and damp is my fault, the rats are my fault because I don’t pick up every crumb and that the house is a mess and it attracts rats and I resent her blaming me for the state of the house, dirty and clutter wise. Yeah it’s dirty and cluttered but it’s not all my fault. She keeps buying more stuff and then again blames me and says I’m the one.

She makes me buy her stuff and when I say I have no money she says it’s my fault because I buy stuff for me.
Well I took her advice and stopped buying any stuff for me now