I don’t care anymore. I want out. I never wanted to be here in the first place. I didn’t get a childhood and now I’m being robbed of an adulthood. I sure don’t have it as bad as many of y’all but I can’t fight I no strength, no courage. I’m weak. I’m doubtful and in pain from years of neglect and abuse. All I pray for is I die in an accident so my family gets some money to survive cause I can’t support them while I’m alive. Where am I supposed to go with this? Why am I supporting to keep up appearances? Kids dying on the daily and I can’t save ‘em and no body tried to save me. I do my best but the best never matters. We can’t make a difference unless we have connections or are wealthy. Where am I suppose to go with this? Who is going stop our inflammatory economics and discrimination? There isn’t anyone who has time for that when we’re busting our asses for hours, we ain’t got time for this. Our generation is about to be annihilated by debt and gun violence. Or worse we are going starve trying to feed our babies. I can’t do this anymore. I keep praying god takes me out of this cause I’m too weak to make it better. I have no more motivation.
Hi Brendan. Life as a carer is tough. Bette Davies once said that “Old age ain’t for sissies.” You can say the same for caring, especially when it goes on for years.
You need to talk to someone urgently. I strongly suggest you start with Samaritans: 116 123. It’s free, and there’s always someone to listen and understand.
But that won’t sort out what’s hurting you. That’s going to take a call to social services to take the pressure off you as a carer, but it would be a good idea to get in touch with the Carers UK Helpline first - Monday to Friday between 9am and 6pm - 0808 808 7777.
All the other stuff, while it’s important, is right now a symptom of all the stress you’re handling as a carer, and something has to give to take that stress off, and fast. You can worry about that later, although there’s a sort of prayer that asks: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Just at the moment, it seems that’s an area you’re struggling with.
Don’t do this alone.