Hi Claire
It’s a tough situation for both of you, and I have no advice: being diabetic myself, I remember being asked if I was impotent by the diabetes nurse. I told her no…and she replied: “it’s the first thing to go.” Lovely. What she should have said is that it’s a very common side effect of diabetes, especially where there is high blood pressure, and that there is help available.
It’s come up a few times at work, too, in that I’ve met carers who had problems in that area: either as the impotent one or as the one in your situation. Those were particularly stressed individuals because they began to feel as if the impotent partner had lost interest. Trouble is that impotence has a major effect on most men. They feel emasculated, or “half men”. But there is support available. Here’s a starting point: Diabetes and sexual problems – in men | Diabetes UK
I hope it helps.