Hi everyone,
Im not sure how to use the forum but will start by introducing myself.
Im Marion and im a Carer, but also a Stroke survivor myself
My youngest daughter lives at home with me she is 32 and has a number of issues including ASD, learning disabilities, epilepsy and bipolar disorder.
My Dad is 81 and lives in a bungalow about 4 miles away, he has restricted mobility, bipolar disorder and OCD. I visit him almost every day and provide quite a lot of care for him.
My Mum who does not live with Dad also loves 4 miles away and is starting to need some support as well, she has angina, arthritis, asthma, stomach problems and high blood pressure.
Im generally pretty busy but fortunately love to help others.
im not sure how this all works but hope to get lots of useful tips and ideas and hopefully will be able to share a few as well.
Hi Marion and welcome.
That’s an awful lot of caring responsibility. I hope you manage a bit of time for yourself too.
Hi Marian, we were in a similar situation for many years, son with severe learning difficulties, husband’s parents 4 miles away had dementia, heart attack, stroke, and old age. Mum had too many ailments to list, housebound for many years, dad with prostate cancer. They kept telling others “we can cope” when they couldn’t, and repeatedly kept asking us to do things that carers should have been doing. We nicknamed ourselves “The Thunderbirds” ready to drop everything at a moment’s notice. Sadly, my husband died of a massive heart attack soon after his dad died. I’ll always believe the stress of caring caused this. Not long before he died, he said to me. “You know what our problem is? We live too near our parents. After we came back from Australia we should have lived further away.” I wish someone had told me that nothing will change unless WE make it change. Parents want us to care for them so that they can keep up their pretence of still being able to do everything. I’m now 70 and slightly disabled. My eldest son lives with me, he’s a very capable person. However I now employ an odd job man now and then to do things that son could do so that he can enjoy doing things he wants to do in his spare time. Encourage each parent to have someone to help them, a carer in disguise to do cleaning and shopping for them. Also, make sure you have Power of Attorney.