How can I make mental health services listen?

Hi All, the situation is getting out of hand but how do I get mental health services to listen and do something than just leave it until mental health doctor appointment? Both me and my dad have tried to get help from the mental health services but it keeps being left until we see the mental health doctor on the 6th June. Twice they did ring back but the 1st time mum was a sleep but did promise to ring back but did not, the following 2 day one of the nurse from the lithium clinic to see how mum was doing but at the time we were out getting the blood test done, had just got off the phone when I and mum came in through the door with dad and only to ask when was mum was going to have a visit from her care manger who was supposed to be have visited last Tuesday but cancelled. We have tried but the duty officer has not come back despite trying daily, the only advice we had from out of hours crisis team apart from they would pass on we phoned is get a firm and do a full house clearance and as mum is having a go at me all the time is for me to leave the house. Which is easier said than done. The house is tidy but things are being moved for building work to build a partion for a bed to be put in down stairs. So the place is all over the place with things being moved and covered, so a builder can start straight away. Yesterday both myself and the lady spent 3 hours just just tidying but moving things either to go out or be put safe after she had left I went to do errands, as some was meds and needed to be picked up before the bank holiday, then came back to have lunch then take mum out but the moment I sat down to sort out tea, I was not allowed and had to keep moving and tidying until late evening 11pm when mum had gone to sleep, I was completely wiped out but that been on happening the last few weeks but has gotten worst since the last week.

Michael, I don’t have experience of MH services - it sounds like they tried to help but because they don’t check it’s a good time to visit they are missing you all - which is a waste of their time and means support isn’t happening.

It sounds like you are exhausted. Can you visit family/ friend for a rest or afford a travel lodge type place or B&B or barricade yourself in a bedroom to get a break?

Can you record any of this behaviour on your phone?

Take notes. Use the recording feature on your phone as well. Good luck. You are in my prayers.

Hi thanks for the messages. I wish I could record it on camera but due to certain act to protect vunable adults you got to get everyone permission and even then after it been agreed the person who is being flim can object when it is being presented. So the only record is a daily dairy. I have given the place that mum is under a last chance to get the head boss to speak to me, see about change of people who help mum but also ask why are the staff where I have to take mum are jerking us around. I have given them until the end of next week or I am going to go back to the health board again about them again as at the moment mum is so much on edge, it will only take the wrong thing to say and bang it takes ages to calm her down.

You are coping with so much you must be exhausted. I hope you get some effective help and support soon x

@Michael_1910123 The situation you are dealing with sounds very stressful indeed, and exhausting. Unfortunately the quality of mental health services is rather a postcode lottery, some areas are good whilst others are terrible. As with every other part of the NHS they are overstretched with too few staff and too many clients, but that doesn’t help you as someone trying to get support.

Even though you are perfectly capable of advocating for yourself, sometimes MH Services will listen and respond better once and official Advocacy Service gets involved. Do a web search under Mental Health Advocacy to see if there is anything near you and contact them. I’ve used them in the past when I was having difficulty with MH services and they were brilliant. Suddenly, things that were not previously possible, were getting done.

Hope this suggestion helps.

Thanks for that suggestion, the last one we used sided with the mental health team before reviewing the facts.

Ah ok, I’m sorry to hear that @Michael_1910123 - it really does seem to be a postcode lottery as to how good services are, even impartial ones, and the Advocacy service are supposed to be impartial! Sorry to hear you didn’t have a good experience with them.

Advocacy service “supported” my son to say he didn’t want to work with steam engines any more. Utter rubbish (that’s the polite word!) The one thing he can do as well as anyone else is look after a steam roller and traction engine. He’s so good at it that we let him drive it up and down our drive without anyone else on the footplate with him. The highlight of his year is driving the traction engine across the showground at the New Forest Show when we arrive (eldest son on the footplate with him then). He beams from ear to ear! The advocate has never contacted me, never seen the engines! Both have won prizes at the Great Dorset Steam Fair, and the engine lived in the county museum for a few years, between shows.