Hi. Joined a couple of weeks ago. But thought it’s time to say something. Currently caring for my mum in her 80s. It can be tough at times as she has various aches and pains, mainly her shoulder and back. She also has dementia and gets confused about things being and people being in her room, including myself. She called the police a month or so ago because of this. At least the three coppers who turned up were understanding. She also gets confused about things on the TV being real or not.
I do have other siblings. However, two sisters live in Canada. Another in the Midlands (I’m in West Yorks) who helps as musch as she can esp given she has a teenage daughter to look after, and an older brother who has his own health issues. However, he’s not been the most reliable sort and although he lives in the same city, does not visit often.
Fortunately, my mum has carers popping in twice a day, mornings and evening. She has a sitting service as well every Tues and Fri. This allows me a bit of time to myself in order to go shopping and so on.
Many years ago I worked in the police control room and we had a system for putting notes which flagged against properties. Not sure if this is still possible, but we would put markers on so highlight ‘issues’ with an address. It meant that if someone was sent there, they had a bit more info. It might be worth approaching your local coppers (if you still have any Local Beat Officer/Community Support Officer these days) and ask if this can be done to indicate that someone living there has dementia. That way they wouldn’t come out “mob-handed” (which could again scare Mum) but approach with the “right frame of mind”. It should already flag up a previous call to the address and they will have put notes on about that from the earlier visit.
Just thoughts to try to ease the pressure if it happens again.
Life’s not easy caring for an elderly relative when other family members are a long distance away.
Hi @iMatt welcome to the forum. Difficult to deal with dementia, my Dad had it and also thought people were trying to hurt him, or spy on him. As @Chris_22081 said the police eventually knew to handle his calls kindly.
Sending love, it is hard to see the person change, make sure you get support and don’t try to do it all. Tell people how you are feeling, come onto this forum to rant, cry, ask for help. Have you had a carer’s assessment, just to get your situation established. It may get you some extra help
Hugs