Wow - thanks! Feels good in a weird way to talk to people who know what my mum is going through - and me!
I have read a million websites - I think I get confused because in the beginning I expected a clear answer to my questions - it soon became very clear there is no clear answer to any questions because everyone is so different. Just when I thought I knew the answer - another website contradicted it or confused me again.
One may say 7 stages - another 4 stages - and so on? I think she is moderate - whatever that means, whatever stage that is?
I did actually ring the Admiral Nurses some time back - we have local services. Tbh - they were not very helpful and sort of steered me in a different direction for some reason (can’t even remember specifically why I rang them now). It put me off!
The night falls are the worst thing at the moment! Never knowing which night, what time, listening for every bump in the night, how much damage done this time, getting her off the floor, to the toilet, hospital job or can I get away with just putting her back to bed (pleeease), etc etc
Hospital visits are usually always about a week long!! So draining…
Sad ----- not guilt I will try to remember that ------ thank you so much
I will contact the council about that - very helpful. No she doesn’t have that much money and I am 56! I think I do have the right to stay in the home as my brother has dealt with all that, he’s in that field and the only person I can turn to for help.
I’m not quite ready to relinquish her to a home, but my brother is as he is getting worried about me and my quality of life. And worried about her safety!
My husband died of cancer so I sort of know the signs of dying - well actually I do - and believe me I watch all the time! It is terrifying!!! The last bit especially - I never put him in a hospice either - I cared for him until his dying breath in our bed.
Some really good advice thank you so much!
I am just so tired of being a carer for the people I truly love and so tired of the people I truly love needing a carer and dying!!!
Thank you all! Very useful and supportive help just when I am hitting the floor myself!