I am a carer for a lady with MS who I’ve been friends with since primary school. I’m currently on maternity leave but we parted on a sour note. She asked me to go in early to drive her to meet a new potential carer. I got there and she’d got the days wrong and I didn’t need to go in early after all. I could have took my little boy to school on his first day. My husband took him, so it was okay but I still felt a bit disgruntled. Then the next day she asked me to go in early again so she could go on a course. I got there early again. (Before my usual working hours) When I got there, she was very late and I could have took my little boy to school after all. I let her know I wasn’t happy and she completely lost the plot and started screaming at me. I had to leave because I’m heavily pregnant and didn’t want my baby to feel my stress. It turned out, she got a taxi and was okay. So, we’re not talking now and I’ve tried to open a discussion by email to resolve it, but it seems she doesn’t want to. I also want to talk to her Mum about it but it feels like I’m going behind her back. But It’s complicated because she employs 2 other carers and she keeps making mistakes with dates, times and wages because of her condition so it all just feels a bit of a mess.
Maybe next time you could talk to her politely about your feelings?
Also I think it is time to ask her mom for advice as well. If she does not mind, you could try chatting with the other two carers and her as well to see if they have any suggestions or not? After all, you are expecting another child (congratulations!) and have a son to look after as well at home. That must be taken into account too. Is it possible to speak with your manager? Do you work for a care company or are you employed as a private carer instead?
Otherwise things will only get worse if no action is taken. Say you know this is not her fault but you have a dependent minor family member who needs you as you are his mom. That might work. Perhaps you could buy her a notebook to use from a bookshop or Amazon? Does she use a phone? If so, politely suggest to her that she should make use of the phone’s notes app as a memory aid.
P.S welcome to the forums!