Help with Demintia of my 91 year old dad please

I have put a few topics on here regarding my dad but i could do with a bit of inside on Dementia which he has had for 4 months.

First thing i Don’t want to know the signs when its getting worse as i live with him alone i will only be looking for things.
Also i suffer with bad depression and would only make it worse…I hope you understand please.

This is what i get…like 3 different things.
1…he can be semi-awake like eyes are open/or open a bit and looks at things that ain’t there so i just talk to what he sees and never seems to have a good sleep for a good 3 or so days and nights like this but he is awake.
2… Drops off to sleep but when you talk to him he will wake up but as he didn’t speak a lot of words but does speak and will eat and drink as i have to try and get 1 Litre +water because of catheter.
3…Goes into a deep sleep and you can tap him just won’t open his eyes for a good 8 to 10 hours but is o.k as paramedics have been round twice in last 4 months because of this and all his checks are very,very good well amazing on most of them and they said its how Dementia is these 3 stages and can go on for ages if not years as long as the person eats /drinks.
I have had loads of doctors in past 6 months etc and i have contacted them today as the paramedics say you need to know the basics how it works like a person to come round and talk to me how what to expect not when things are getting worse just what goes on.
I can’t stress this enough i suffer from bad depression being the last 12 years i have been through a lot with mom and last 10 years with dad as mom past away 11 years ago…I do hope someone can just tell me is this so how it is and just leave it go on.
Thanks to all.

Hello Jason

The best support and advice I got with my Mum was from the Alzheimer’s Society - in most areas they can provide you with a support worker who can talk you through the different stages and give you support when the going gets touch. My local branch used to have coffee mornings/afternoons for carers where we could come together and swap tips and advice.

Additionally there are Admiral Nurses - again they are there to support the carer and family (unfortunately they are not available in some areas).

Hi Jason

It is very stressful caring for someone with dementia. It can be depressing for anyone but if you have depression to start with it will be even tougher. Have you discussed this at your carer assessment or seen your GP. It is worth chatting to your GP over a phone consultation and explain how much you are taking on.

Yes spoke to doctors about it and are always there and this has been a few times in the last 12 months and also i have had loads of assessments and 2 of them was with a very nice person from our local carers hub which is part of social, and they know my full history from 14+years ago upto now and loads of stuff which they have helped a lot.
There is only me and dad and Dementia is just another learning thing for me as i have been through learning with stoma bag (mom and cancer with mom11 years ago) and catheter mow with dad for 7+years and now the new one dementia which i have rang dementia uk and got some good advice but on top of it all dad is a very weak,tired old 91 year old person as worked as a builder until 75 still active.
I have always been the same even when mom passed away with cancer i didn’t want to know things when things are getting worse as the time will come in anything when ready or signs of things getting worse.
Thanks for your replies.
I have also put another topic on here regarding some tablets which i will try.

Hi Jason,

I understand that you don’t want to know how the disease progresses. In any case, every person is different and reacts in different ways. The only advise I will give, having been through this with my mum, is to agree with what your dad says, even if it is rubbish, and try to distract him and/or change the subject if he gets upset or agitated.

Also, try to enjoy the good times / days with him as even with dementia there will be good periods. I used to have days when I could have torn my hair out and other times when we had some good laughs. I found funny clips on You-Tube sometimes get my mum occupied.

Take care,

Thanks a lot and yes he is just the same for the last 3 months seeing his normal stuff that aint there and sometimes i have a laugh asking who it is or doing then we make a laugh at it.
When carers come round morning and afternoon he comes out of his shell and goes into like a bit normal mood which is weird but great to see and even got him doing stuff even putting his 2 thumbs up when they come and go and being very local firm and very local people they knew where dad was born and brought up so he dont know all stuff but few things he says comes back which brings that little tear to you eye and a good smile who does a lot of time,he is a very lovable person as every nurse/carer has said and all say he is lovely and great as he never moans at anything or aggressive in any way to anyone.

Hello Jason

Regarding sleepy episodes: my dad (92 when he died with alz/vas dem) had 2 episodes like this. First time lasted about 12 hrs and he was taken to A & E as they thougt he had had a stroke - where he began to wake up and was very cross to find himself in hospital. Second time we just waited for him to wake up which he eventually did apparently none the worse. Very very strange and frightening for carers. I wondered whether it was a sort of self defence mechanism - his poor od brain so tired with trying to make sense of the world around him that it switched off for a bit.

It’s really hard. My thoughts are with you x