Hi, i just googled ‘how to stop caring for a parent’ and ended up here, i really need help and advice.
Long story, I’m 34 work full time and help care for my dad who was diagnosed with dementia 2 years ago, he’s 69. Although i do know he’s had it longer.
5 years ago i lost my sister to mental health, and he lives alone and has noone else but me.
His dementia is killing me, i have to do everything and he’s paranoid, nasty and i think hears voices, im having him assessed again atm.
In the last 5 years, my husband and i have had 4 miscarriages, and about to start ivf . And my husband lost his dad too. Today my dad tried to fight my husband with a hammer and told me ‘real women have babies and you can’t’.
I am completely broken, i can’t go on anymore. I know it’s the disease and not my dad, im sick of being told that. It’s still an empty stranger who abuses me everytime i do his cleaning shopping, meds, appointments etc.
Social services say he’s fine living independently as he can shower and dress himself, physically ok. He has carers give him meds twice a day. He’s paranoid and has delusions about so many different things, and i cant cope anymore, i dont want this life anymore.
What can i do to get more support and have him looked after? My mental health is at rock bottom and i cant care for him anymore. I didn’t ask for this, i didn’t want this life i feel so trapped.
Any advice welcome, thanks.