hi all my name is andy im 53 ,im caring for my 2 parents dad is 87 with heart failer after quadruple bypass aurthritus in wrists and ankles ,also he i deaf on the left side only 15%on the right side with slight memory loss, my mother is cripled with spine curvature aurthritus she also is in a wheel chair due to majer surgery for bowl cancer ,and has a colomosty bag ,as for my self im disabled with disc degenertion of the spine with osteo nucrosis in spine and knees ,i care for both my parents which everyday is a total strugle i do, all cooking cleaning shoping ,medication sometimes dressing ,is there any other carers who is in ths same position ide like to hear from to see how you are coping

Hi Andrew,
welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you are kept busy caring for both your parents.
Do you live with them?

Do they get any support from outside carers in addition to the support you give them?

Do they claim Attendance Allowance? This can be used to pay for a cleaner/gardener etc to make life easier and take some of the pressure off of you.
Do you do online food shopping? It saves having to struggle with the trolley etc and means the food is delivered to the door/kitchen etc


Hi Andrew … a couple of links to go with Melly’s reply for you :

Home care services … what’s available and who provides them out there :


Attendance Allowance :

Attendance Allowance: Overview - GOV.UK

AGE UK … on their radar ?


( I have assumed that CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare is NOT a factor here ? )

hi mell yes i live with my parents ,we own the house thats why i cannot get any help weve always worked ,all i get id carers alowance and my pip for my disability and how do you cope it must be very dificult for you too ,

Hi Andrew,
The house isn’t taken into account for funding care at home, only savings are considered in the financial assessment. If parents have under £ 23,250 then they a will entitled to subsidised/ free care depending on the level of savings.

Read up on Needs Assessment Needs assessment | Carers UK

Are they claiming Attendance allowance, this isn’t means tested and could help pay for some help with the chores. This would benefit you all, as it would take some of the pressure of you. Attendance Allowance | Carers UK

My caree needs me. More later …


hi we get atendance allowance ,also we have more than the savings amount, ill have a look at the link to see if i can get help if not, ill do what i can thank you for your advice

Your parents can be assessed either jointly or individually, so the max. savings allowed is about £47,000.
Are they refusing to get any help because they have to pay, and you providing care without giving you anything???