I’ve cared for elderly parents and a son with learning difficulties, so can’t offer any advice, but there are a number of members on the forum in a fairly similar situation, who will be along presently.
o0Pleomax0o hello and welcome
My circumstances are different to yours as my husband is in a nursing home because of strokes and vascular dementia.
Others will be along to support you. Hopefully you will find the forum a good place to vent etc ( no one judges)
Roll call is a nice place to just chat in general if that’s what you feel like.
hi, just to say (quickly and ‘in passing’ so apols for that), to be sure you are actually SUPPORTING your wife (ie, helping her be the BEST she can be) and not merely ‘enabling’ her (which ‘panders’ to her distorted, ie, mentally ill, self)…the difference is crucial.
It’s fiendishly hard distinguishing, I appreciate, but to my mind, the best (of a poor bunch) is to try and assess the EFFORT she puts in. Whilst one would not more expect someone with a broken leg to run a marathon, we would expect them to grab their crutches and hobble around and do the most they can do…even if it is painful and takes effort and tires them out.
I would use the same analogy for mental illness. Mental illness can be incredibly ‘selfish’ and ‘self-focus’ is a known danger - they become incapable of feeling sorry for anyone else, as it all ‘me me me me’ and THEIR suffering -
Beware, too, another endemic danger of mental illness - the ‘secondary gain’ they can get. This is the ‘get out of all responsibility free’ card…‘I can’t do anything, I’m ILLLLLLLLL! I have to be looked after by EVERYONE and is is NOT my problem because I’m ill!!!’
Beware of all the above!
(I was raised by a mentally ill mum, and my niece has substantial and chronic MI)…