Grateful for advice on helping older relative receive help

HI everyone from New Zealand ; hope you are well
I would love to ask your advice on supporting my Mum in law in the UK; she had a stroke (TIA) about 2 weeks ago and has only just told me; my sister in law, the daughter who lives near my Mum in law, was told by her mum ( ie our mum in law) to not tell us anything in case we worry. This is such crazy thinking isn’t it

I have stressed to Mum in law and to sister in law " I want for them to feel safe and I want for them to feel they can ask for help at the gps asap" ( ie we want to prevent any future strokes) etc

This is an email I have written for my sister in law to give to her gp; what do you think?
sample letter /email to Gp
]Dear Vicky or on duty charge nurse
I am writing on behalf of my Mum xxxxxx who is a patient of yours. I have full authority to talk to you on my Mum’s behalf, as per your notes.
My brother is in New Zealand and I am writing on his behalf too.

I would love to talk to you in the strictest confidence if I may. My Mum has had a transient ischaemic attack several weeks ago ( please fill in Angela when you think it was). To my knowledge, my Mum has not spoken to one of your nurse practitioners or doctors as yet to explain what has happened to her.

Before my Mum talks to one of your Gps, I would love to have the chance to explain to you , in the strictest confidence what my Mum is facing at the moment and to ask your advice on how I am supporting my Mum at this time. When is a good time to call you or one of your nurses?

Many thanks

Thank you so much for letting me share

Hi Susan,
your letter sounds good to me, however it might be difficult for your SIL to get a telephone appointment with the doctor and if this is the case, it might be worth composing a letter with all your concerns in for the GP to read.


What do you want the outcome to be?
Would it be better for SIL to arrange a Needs Assessment with Social Services?
It’s almost impossible to get anything from my doctor at the moment. That’s the harsh reality of the situation in the UK right now.