Firstly, let me state I know no one can diagnose over the internet and I will need to bring my grandmother to a healthcare professional but wanted to get some advice.
My grandmother is 87. She seems to have a few forgetful episodes this year. She believes something so much and won’t listen when we try to correct her. She gets upset and stops the conversation. Her sister had Alzheimers and passed last year.
The reason I am contacting the forum is because she made me very worried yesterday. A neighbor, who we only speak to a couple of times a year and generally at Christmas called the house. She found out my grandmother was there and said she would pass down a gift for Christmas (encase she didn’t see my grandmother during the Christmas period). She knitted my grandmother a hat and a blanket and when my grandmother looked at it later got so angry.
She believed the hat and blanket where for cancer patients. She said she had heard it on the radio during the week that they were looking for blankets for the patients with cancer receiving chemo in hospitals. She thought the woman knew she had cancer. Side note, My grandmother does not have cancer and if she did, we wouldn’t have told this person and my grandmother would know, we wouldn’t hide it from her.
She got frustrated and angry with me when I told her she was being silly. I talked to her later in the evening and tried to figure out how she came to this conclusion. She said she didn’t see what was in the letter that she had to hand into her GP after getting an endoscope. She had already met with a doctor in the hospital who went through and showed her images and just said she had aid and a hernia. She had this endoscope done 3 years ago so I’m unsure why she’s thinking about it
She believes she has cancer and has already asked her GP before if she has it.
She asked me to bring her to her doctor so she can ask him again if she has it. I don’t think bringing her back would be the best action to take. We tried explaining that the only thing in the letter was the results that they had already given her.
My grandmother lives at home alone. She doesn’t get out due to two hip replacement surgery failures. She comes to my house on weekends and y family buy her groceries. She cooks for herself and dresses herself and everything like that.
I have no experience in this and I’m not sure how to coax her through this.
When the time comes , you’ll find AGE UK invaluable … everything from A - Z , stopping at all stations in between : https://www.ageuk.org.uk/
When it comes to us … senior citizens … they are the acknowledged experts in the field.
At the age of 87, one of the “very elderly”, some form of mental decline is more likely than not. Try to appreciate the positives, she has had a long life and has lived to see so much, unlike my lovely husband who died at 58 of a massive heart attack.
Does anyone have “Power of Attorney”?
If not, sort this out as a matter of URGENCY, because it sounds like the time left when she can give consent is almost over.
How many family does she have? Children still alive, grandchildren?
Does she own her own house, or rent it?
Have over £23,000 in savings (Yes/No)?
It’s horrible watching relatives with dementia. My Mum is 96 and lives in a lovely care home now but I looked after her for 12 years while she lived at home after my Dad died.
I can see more and more of her slipping away and she is like your Grandma, she gets an idea in her head and you can’t remove it. Her main one has been for maybe 6 months where she believes she has “a problem” with her waterworks. The staff have spoken to her, I have endlessly and we have had the continence nurse in who did a bladders scan and everything is normal. She therefore spends all her day and most of the night going to the toilet which is a big ordeal and is wearing her out as her mobility is poor. She has never once wet herself or the bed and 9 times out of 10 she doesn’t do a wee when she goes to the loo but her brain tells her she wants one.
Her other thing is that other people use her room and toilet (which they don’t) and they steal her things or move them around. I label everything she owns and nothing has ever gone missing.
I just want you to know that sadly this happens to a lot of people with dementia although I don’t think I read that your Grandma has been formally diagnosed. You need to get this done and you also need to sort out Power of Attorney. When Mum was diagnosed that was the first thing they told me to do and I am so glad I did because I have needed it countless times already.
Please try to get power of attorney. My husband declined very quickly and didn’t have the capacity to agree. I had to go down the court of protection route, and its much more intrusive.
Sorry you are going through this. Its an emotional rollercoaster that is so so hard.