My wife’s mental health has deteriorated, and she is physically getting weaker too. She is at home, supervising our daughter of 6 years, because primary schools for Year 1 have not gone back as yet. I work full-time at the moment, but care for my wife in the mornings before I go to work, then also when I get home in the evenings. Weekends it will be full-time caring. This is apart from caring for our daughter too.
Financially, my job is providing for all our needs. However, it is getting to the stage where I require care for my wife at home to ensure my daughter is well looked after and that my wife eats and drinks to keep herself healthy. I just can’t afford to pay for care in that capacity.
Should I consider going into full-time care at home and quit my job? Would we survive on carers allowance? How do we decide and make such a transition? When schools go back, it should be a different story, as our daughter would be back at school again, so she’ll receive school dinners and be with her peers. School holidays would be a different story though.
Hi Stefan,
I would strongly advise not to give up your job. Are social services aware of your situation? Under normal circumstances, your wife could have care worker visits to support her with personal care and meals whilst you are at work. Under lockdown, your daughter may be able to attend school if social services were aware of her situation. Once school resumes properly, she would be eligible for after school clubs, play-schemes etc Which would help in the longer term.
This sounds like a difficult decision for you. I’d suggest you ring our helpline on 0808 808 7777 Mon- Fri 9am - 6pm and they’ll be able to talk this through with you .
It might also be helpful to download our ‘Looking after someone’ guide from our support page and check what kind of practical help you’re entitled to:
Thank you Melly1,
It’s been a struggle to get services to acknowledge my wife’s condition. Yesterday seems to have had a positive turn in terms of expediting Social care for my wife, not necessarily at home care and a referral to a psychiatrist. I’ve been speaking to the school as well, and unfortunately, Government guidelines have not allowed them to permit Year 1 pupils back in school; so it’s a wait until September. I would need to delve deeper into our daughter’s eligibility for after school clubs etc. Whom would you recommend I contact in this regard … the school, social services, department of education?
children who are considered vulnerable/at risk are also able to attend school alongside those of key worker children. This is usually established if the child has social worker. As you are at the start of your journey to get help, you could try asking your GP for support to get your daughter into school, however there aren’t many weeks to go now until the summer holiday.
Re play schemes and after school clubs etc the best ways to learn of where these are run is by asking other parents, your child’s school, social services, etc Local leisure centres often run them too under usual circumstances. Funding varies - some families get financial assistance subject to accessibility criteria.
Its important you let school know about your wife, as this will enable them to best support your daughter.