Financial assessment due now, help!

Mother has 2 carers four times a day.

She is immobile with severe arthritis in her knees and has a reduced appitite. She is doubley incontinent and showing some signs of dementia.

We are almost at the 23,250 mark now.

I am two years away from the house saving 60.

What do I need to ask?

How much respite can I expect the council to pay for each year?

I must have days off. 3 hours a week just isnt enough. I keep crying and losing it over small things.

Will they fund a regular day off?

Will they be truthful with me?!? Prob not possibl tto answer that one!

Can I legally take a wage from Mother for being her carer? If so, how much is allowed?


Can I legally take a wage from Mother for being her carer? If so, how much is allowed ?

The greyest area in CarerLand !

Technically you could but … opens up a whole warehouse full of cans of worms.

A couple of threads that touch apon the problem … in essence , one would cease to be carer … and would become an employee.

If the caree pays the carer , said caree will be the employer … all Employment Law comes in play.

One of those practical situations wherein hundreds of thousands of carees / carers may be breaking the Law … knowing no different / unaware of the legal relationship.

As I type , with CUK to sort out … both with the DoleMan ( DWP ) and the TaxMan ( HM Revenue & Customs ).

I assume all assessments done and upto date / NHS Continuing Healthcare not applicable ?

Many lone carers end up paying for " Their " respite care … as someone would be needed to replace them as the carer … and the caree is means tested for that.

In my case , more than a decade ago , ten years caring … a couple of hours off whenever was the best I managed over those years.

Others will be along to address the other issues raised.

Ah yes the old employee thing. I remember you posted that before. Thank you.

Dont know about chc funding will be going to gp in the new year. Doubt it though.

I find all this stuff re finances so stressful and compicated!

Jacqueline, we ALL do.

As my son is now almost 40 years old I’ve been dealing with this sort of thing for too many years, and also helping my own parents and my in laws navigate the system too.

They won’t put mum in a care home unless it’s absolutely the last resort. I suggest you say that you want to look after her as long as possible BUT you MUST HAVE MORE TIME OFF!


I find all this stuff re finances so stressful and compicated !

As may be inferred from those threads , a ticking nuclear bomb that MAY explode IF CUK have better fortune getting sensible answers from those two Government departments.

Don’t blame me for raising them in the first place.

The nuclear bombs have always been in the shadows … ever since AA / DLA / PIP / Direct Payments came into being.

The real question to ask is … " Why were the problems NOT picked up before now ? " … identified within 5 minutes of digging by yours truly.

Could make the recent DWP purge look like a mere sideshow in comparison !

Avoid the word ‘wage’ or ‘payment’, better have her pay bill’s or expenses as a ‘thank you’ or a gift.
But it would have been better to have started doing this much earlier so a regular pattern was established . They probably won’t be bothered about small regular amounts but would query any large one off sums.

Even when she is under the threshold she will still have to pay something towards her care, but that should come from her money, not yours.

Very difficult to second guess what they will go for, but if they arranged the 4 daily vists and her needs haven’t lessened, you have a good case for complaint if they try to reduce it.

For respite you need to stress how much you want to care for her and how much she wants to stay at home BUT you can only do that with respite. Be careful though as no council I’ve heard of funds a full day care or sitting service at home. Some fund visits to a day centre. Even if you weren’t living there, she would only get max 4 visits. There’s many an isolated old person just sat or lying there between one Carer visit and the next.

Yes, many and old person … How sad.

Mother is unable to get out of bed/chair let alone out of the house so day centers are off the menu.

I will make it clear how much I want to look after her and how much she wants to stay at home.

She has given me a regular amount of money for sometime so that should be ok. Gifts.

The house is hers so she pays all bills etc.

The only large oayments were for home improvements which genuinely needed doing.

A care home is 900 a week and 2 carers four times a day are 1,250 a week. Its crazy.