Oh that’s peace of mind for him. Glad it sorted. My dad was in a single room at the end. God bless you
Cheryl, your Dad must be relieved that it is signed. You too.
Yes i’m so relieved it’s sorted now. Thanks. I now have the worry of my dad’s last days. He needs to be in a Hospice, but he refuses this and wants to go home. My brother lives at home and he says he doesn’t want him to die at home.We have to decide today.
Cheryl, I suggest that you Google “Signs of Dying”. You’ll find some helpful articles written by people who have worked in hospices. They explain how the body slowly works less well, over a number of years, not just the last few hours. They also talk about what care and support, and medication, may be needed. Suggest this to your brother too. You then have to look at what care someone will NEED, not what they WANT. My dad had prostate cancer, mum was physically very frail. In their last few days they both needed a morphine driver to keep pain down. Dad was in a hospice, mum in a nursing home, so qualified staff available at all times. Things can change very quickly. They both passed away peacefully. I’ve had cancer, and thought a lot about where I would like to die. I would prefer to be where I too could be pain free, leaving my family with happier memories of a life well lived, not of having to do the most intimate of care. It really isn’t up to dad to choose, it’s whether or not you and your brother will be able to cope if something happens at 3am when you can’t get hold of anyone because services generally operate from 8am to 8pm. Dad would be entitled to Fast Track NHS Continuing Healthcare which in theory would mean someone else could be with him, but there is a dire shortage of staff at the moment. Who has said you must choose today? Have the medical staff talked to you about the care they are giving dad, and how else this could be given, who could support care at home?
Cheryl.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mum died at home with us around her. Dad was in hospital and I managed to get to him for four hours just 36 hours before he died. I had planned to go back as soon as I could get away from a couple of hours work on his last day, but he just couldn’t wait for me. I wish I had just gone to the hospital - he was not alone, a nurse was with him. Each of them was on morphine pump so they were not suffering.
It is very difficult to know what to do for the best. I can quite understand your brother not wanting him at home at the end, as it will stay with him. However, the only one who matters at this time is DAD. What he wants, he should - if possible - get. Palliative Care at home should be available. With Mum, she had been ill for ears and we had Private Carers coming in and on her last day one stayed from lunchtime through the night as she was so devoted.
Graham and I have Advance Decisions in place and we know what the other wants, as does our GP - its on our medical records. Hopefully that means we will have the right things in place at the end.
Try to stay strong - I know that is difficult right now.
C