Morning Melly and a happy new year to you. Thanks so much for replying.
The manager has been very good up to now and is aware of the issue with agency workers. They are now aware how he reacts to black staff when they are providing care, he’s fine at other times with them but I will ask that they amend the rota wherever possible.
His meds have always made him sleep a lot, he’s always been the same. He can get up after 12 hours sleep, have breakfast and be asleep again within half an hour. The neurologist has asked the epilepsy nurses to visit him to see if they can check for any physical issues causing his behaviour but did say the other route as a last resort would be sedatives, which wouldn’t be a great idea I don’t think with his usual drowsiness. I’ve asked mum and dad to visit after lunch but they’re so set in their ways they keep going at the usual times, it’s habit but so frustrating when they have nothing else to do with their day! I can cope with all of the stresses but I find my brothers behaviour so upsetting and embarrassing if I’m honest, nobody likes to think that someone they care about is being nasty or violent to anyone, especially those doing an incredibly hard job already
Hi Chrissy, It’s great that the manager is on side. I’m sure it would be fairer on the staff too to jiggle the rota. Known triggers are best avoided wherever possible. The neurologist doesn’t sound very interested or helpful, if I’m honest. Being roused from med induced sleep is one of the issues, so how could sedatives help!! He would have no quality of life if permanently comatose. Hopefully the epilepsy nurses will be more helpful. He probably takes his meds 12 hourly - so shifting their timing might help. I agree it is frustrating re your parents - but as you say they are stuck in their ways.
I know its easy to say, but you aren’t responsible for your brother’s behaviour - his brain injury is. The home staff will appreciate that you are involved, supported, interested and working with them.
Chrissy
I feel for you
I am so glad your brother has you to advocate for him.
I hope you feel you are in the right place here, I am glad you found us.
Warmly Ula 
Thanks so much Melly, I really appreciate your help and kind words, I do need to remember I’m not responsible for his behaviour, you’re right, I’ll try to keep reminding myself!
Thanks Ula, I really appreciate it and I am so grateful to have found this group, just being able to talk about it with people who understand has made me feel so much better, thank you 
Just wanted to update everyone on the managers meetings regarding my brother. It went really well! She is really happy with him, acknowledged that there are still issues but she doesn’t see them as a problem as they have plans in place. Thank you all so much for your help and advice, it’s not going to always be plain sailing but it was nice to have some positive news to share
That’s good news. Well done.
Chrissy, that’s great news. You must be so relieved. Well done to you.
Thank you! Yes it’s one less thing to worry about. Trying to find out where his benefits are paid and arranging the change in standing order has proved more challenging! We’ll get there though, just so grateful for the staffs understanding and to see the positive change in my brother. Thanks again 
Chrissy are you his DWP appointee?
Morning Melly. No my mum is, however both her and Dad have no recollection of sorting the last standing order for the previous home (I can recall them mentioning it at the time), we have sent a letter to PIP asking them to put me down as his appointee but haven’t heard anything since. I’m struggling to get any information at all, I wrote down a to do list for mum and dad to take to the bank, some of the actions have been done but not all as they forget the info behind it. I work full time and so it’s hard to go with them but think I’ll have to take some annual leave. The bank changed their account to online banking, so stopped receiving paper statements, they’re late 80’s and in no way able to navigate online banking, just makes everything so long winded and frustrating!
There is a short form to apply for appointeeship from DWP.
I’ve never heard of joint appointeeship before, are you sure they don’t have joint Power of Attorney?
Thank you, I’ll get in touch with them. No my mum is the appointee presently, she has just been granted attendance allowance so needs to be removed in order for them to pay her as you can’t be an appointee and receive AA
My wife receives PIP (the working age equivalent) and is an appointee. It shouldn’t make any difference unless the AA is for dementia related care needs. There’s no mention of it here, either: How to Become an Appointee for Someone Claiming Benefits - UK Rules (theukrules.co.uk)
It was the DWP paying the attendance allowance who said she couldn’t have that if she was an appointee for someone else. To be honest mum and dad’s memory’s are so bad it needed to be looked at. The social worker is going to assess my brothers capacity and hopefully he can have his own bank card and the council can be his appointee as I’m finding it difficult to keep on top of everything for everyone
It probably does need to be looked at, @Chrissy2k2, but there are no rules I’m aware of that make it so. That’s the part that worries me, because it’s likely to be bad advice.
Ah that’s a nuisance isn’t it! That’s the problem I’ve been finding, differing advice from departments, no common sense, it’s so hard when all I’m trying to do is make sure his contribution to his care is paid for.
If they are getting forgetful, do you have Power of Attorney sorted for your parents?
I have for my Dad as he’s the one who sorts all the finances. I don’t feel like it’s the time to initiate it just yet but it will be soon
You can usually initiate it before he loses capacity so you can support him with making decisions, rather than having to take over.