Hi, I’m new here. I have a 26yr son who has autism and also suffers from depression who finds it hard to see a positive in life. As a mum I been feeling overwhelmed as it’s been ongoing for so many years. I feel lost. Any tips to help him and yo give myself hope that it does get better.
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My son is 46, brain damaged at birth. Fit as a flea, but can’t read, write or do any maths. He lives in a privately rented flat with carer support.
He became a boarder at school, then a boarder at a farm college. Then a few other moves before the current situation.
I always urge everyone to think about what will happen to their child when you are no longer able to care, then work towards a solution. Social Services are useless in supporting parents to talk about this sort of thing. Does your son go to any day services or similar? Have any friends?
Hi there, my son is very smart and has accomplished so much. Yet, he just isn’t happy with life but he’s not sure why. He had many jobs, had many friends then it all kind of stopped once he turned 19. He’s been in and out of therapy for years, which hasn’t made much difference. The talk of suicide is mentioned on a yearly basis. He stays in his room, doesn’t interact with anyone unless it suits him. I’m mentally exhausted as I don’t know who or what can help him to believe that he can have a life worth living.
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@QuietSuzen that is sad, and in my carers group there are a couple of mums in your position. My husband is my person to care for. He is autistic and has depression. He has now got into the habit of being depressed, which may be what your son is feeling.
It is hard to get him out of it, and really nothing you can do more than you are. Try to get help for yourself, to get away from the pressure you are in.
Has your GP offered any help? Is the Community Mental Health Team supporting you?
I found this forum a great source of support and advice. Also to just know you are not on your own. Keep strong
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Hi there, yes he is getting help. From the mental health team, also our gp and his workplace. It’s just seems like he’s stuck in a vicious cycle. Good and achieving things for a few months then. Boom. He wants to kill himself and then it’s back to all these professionals trying to help him. It’s drained not only myself but my other children too as we’ re permanently on edge. Yet, he just seems unbothered and sits in his room with the cat.
@QuietSuzen that is good to get that support. It is hard but when my husband retreats to his room, I just let him. It gives me some space from him to be honest. Hard to accept, but you can’t fix him.
perhaps it would help your other kids if you saw these moments as a time to focus on them and let him be unbothered in his room with the cat.
Perhaps it is easier to do with my husband, but you are entitled to some time away from pressure too. Sending hugs
Thank you. I do leave him be and the other children do their own things. It’s just heartbreaking as he’s 26 and this has been going on since he was 16. All the assistance in the world hasn’t really helped because I think he’s so accustomed to it, even he doesn’t try. He’s dropped out of so many good jobs, hobbies and friends because he feels he doesn’t see the point in any of it. This isn’t a life.
Yes, it must be heart breaking as a parent. I think, with his autism, he is in the habit of it so it doesn’t bother him. I certainly feel like that with my husband. It isn’t the life you wanted for him, but for him it may be the life he wants in a way. So sad for you.
This forum is so good as a place to come to for comfort and to say how you are worried about him.