Mum has Alzheimer’s and had a fall, a broken ankle and unable to weightbear. She pays £45 for 3 visits per day. She has 2 carers each visit and all in all, she receives 40 minutes of care in one day. Supposedly 3x30mins each visit. She lives with me but needs a hoist and the care provider won’t allow me to be trained as a 2nd hoist helper to lessen the fees. I do get that, it’s all about risk and insurance.
Some will ask if there is anything else we need to have done, it’s not the carers fault, there just isn’t anything extra that needs doing. I’m petrified of even being on Social Services radar as I fear they’d whisk her off to a rest home if I make waves. It all adds to a highly fraught situation for all the family. Mum self funds. Like many she chose to save and have a lesser standard of living. It’s just like we are all under some form of house arrest and there’s no escape from them. One wrong move or word and it could spell the end of freedom for Mum. I’m just in a right old state. From a financial view, how can 40mins of daily assistance for £45.00 be anything but exploitative.

Hi Louise.

I suspect it is highly unlikely that social care would want to move your Mum to a care home - as they full well know that would eat into her savings a lot quicker and they would be picking up the tab for her residential care once her savings were gone.

As she is self funding, you could contact other agencies to see what alternatives are available. You could also enquire on their policy re the hoisting, as some agencies do allow a named, trained family member to help with this.

You could request a Carer’s Assessment for yourself https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/practical-support/getting-care-and-support/carers-assessmentIs

Alternatively, is Mum receiving Attendance Allowance? (If she isn’t she should be.) This could be used to pay for someone to sit with your Mum whilst you go out for awhile to give your a break.

You might also enjoy Carer’s UK virtual meet ups Online meetups | Carers UK


Hello Melly1.
Thanks for your reply. It was appreciated.
Hope you are well.
Thanks for the advice. Carers been 3 times again today, totalling 36minutes for all the visits combined and charging Mum £45.00. (You can probably tell I’m a whinger that repeats herself!).
We have just got AA and I have applied for CA which will go towards the fees a bit.
The care provider says trained family members are not allowed, against policy but I am interested in what you say about some might, I’ll be looking into it, thanks for tip.
All we can do is keep on going isn’t it.
All the best

Louise, you talk about being under house arrest, but when carers ask what else they can do, there isn’t anything?! Make sure you get what you are paying for, do they clean up after themselves, change the bed, etc etc. Does mum support you financially? Could you go out for. quick walk?