Family wanting to meet vulnerable family members

Hi . Can I please ask your take on this .I lost my mom in August to a cardiac arrest .
My sister couldn’t visit her for months due to the lockdown. I was the main one following the rules, so seems I was the awful saying you shouldn’t meet indoors . She did meet outside in the garden though many times . I made heat pads and hot drinks . I personally love them coming over as I have a hour break without worrying .
Covid has now rocket near us . My sister who lives with her boyfriend, who works at a hospital! , wants to visit tomorrow. I’ve said this isn’t allowed and I’m so worried about dad (COPD, heart problems and many more ) Im his full time carer.
They come for a hour drink tea , bring him little gifts and sod back home again .
I feel so awful , but I’ve said tonight it’s not allowed and to risky. Now I’m the bad guy , my sister said she never saw my mom before she died much , she doesn’t want the same happening with dad.
But I’m the one who will care for dad , when mom died I was left to Everything as Mom wasn’t insured. Actually I lie they did call one relative to tell them. !!
I feel bitter . But upset and like I can’t win . I love dad and worry constantly. With no break for months it’s been hard . Hopefully he will have his vaccine as I’ve told them , and things will be better . I’m not to fussed and long as he doesn’t get covid .Am I being unfair , like they said , should I just ignore the rules as it’s a sad situation. I’ve lost mom and don’t want to lose my dad too.

Hi Lisa,
I think you are doing the right thing; not only is it illegal for them to visit for the sole purpose of socialising, but it’s also risky for your Dad.

Tell them they can do a window visit or a Skype call instead and to think how terrible she’d feel of your Dad contracted Covid.


Thanks melly that means a lot . I was so upset I forgot to say meet outside . Bit she knows that . I’ve set up a Skype with her and dad many times and mom when she was alive . Maybe I’ll suggest another one tomorrow x

On TV they’ve just said about a new government campaign “Act as if you’ve got it”. Tell them to stay away! After all if they really cared they would do some practical caring and share the load with you. By no doing that they have, to me, forfeited any rights.

don’t allow it. I had a phone chat with an elderly former neighbour the other day and she had a friend turn up at hers. She said she had come for coffee. My friend wouldn’t allow her in especially as she didn’t have a mask on. they spoke on the doorstep at a distance and she told my friend she had a lovely Xmas with 16 of them at her son’s house and that was 5 households mixing. i just can’t believe some people.

You are doing the right thing and she should realise this.