I guess I’m here because I really don’t have anyone else I can talk to and I’m feeling so alone.
I really can’t be the only carer who feels like they just can’t take it anymore. It’s like being frozen, I have so much to do to advocate for my son but I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. I can’t take one more conversation about a special interest or one more session picking bits of food so a meltdown doesn’t ensue, along with 100 other things I do to support him. I can’t keep crying these tears that are not helping or pretending everything isn’t flipping hard.
But I do… because I love him so much and I am his voice and drive for his best life.
Please can someone tell me I’m not alone.
Maybe even remind me that these seasons pass and that it is not always like this.
I felt the same way yesterday! We decided to go to a local Chinese restaurant for dinner as a family. I had issues getting my son’s wheelchair through the doorway. So I unexpectedly and unwillingly had to have that conversation with the owner (?) of the restaurant about widening the doorways using the excuse of fair treatment for all. I really only wanted a nice meal out and one night off from advocacy. Are you seeing a therapist or not?
But we had a lovely time eating duck and tasty fried rice once we were sitting down at a table inside the place. It is hard, isn’t it? I’ve even had discussions at community leisure centres with complete strangers in the past about my son’s legs. I was totally blindsided by them at first however. It was difficult enough when he was a baby, I often did not want to cook so we would go to a local restaurant or takeout shop for food with him plus his equipment. Namely braces and casts back then.
Hi Ceri and welcome,
I haven’t had your experience as my caree was my elderly (practically ancient) Mum. However, just wanted to say welcome and perhaps if you care to explain a bit more about your son – age, problems and so on, there are members here who have fought long and hard as advocates for their child and could hopefully provide some answers if they know the questions.
As for the feelings of loneliness and despair, they tend to get served up on the plate along with the caring role, so you are by no means alone there. (Chopsticks not included).
Tell us a bit more about your circumstances and what help, if any, you are currently getting. What’s the biggest hurdle you are facing right now? What, perhaps small, thing would make life just that little bit better?
For a bit of light relief and chatting visit the Social areas of the forum where you will be made welcome.
There’s loads of info and advice on here but sometimes as a carer you don’t realise exactly what you need or what’s available to you.