hi new here and lost confused and worried as my situation has just changed and don’t know what to do
I was very very poorly back in 2017 and was in and out of hospital including intensive care and was signed off long term sick from work.
2018 my dad passed away leaving mum alone in a care home after she and dad sold their house to pay for the care home
this was eating into her savings very fast so I asked her if she would consider helping towards the deposit for a house big enough for her and my self my son and my fiancee.
we moved in and had the dining room converted into a bedroom and a downstairs shower room/toilet built all well and good and managed to get a reduction in council tax
my employer’s medical insurance kicked in and started paying me after my ssp ran out.and they were talking about setting things up so I could work from home
now the medical insurance has run out and they are backtracking on working from home and I don’t know what to do
mum cant make her meals and is at risk of falls but otherwise is fairly independent
do I try and go parttime and try and claim carers allowance I am so confused.
is there any groups in or close to Folkestone I can get help from
Hi Amy … Welcome to an extremely quiet forum as I type.
First thought ?
A potential deprivation of assets problem.
I trust that expert advice was sort BEFORE moving your mother out of a care home and then asking her to contribute towards
your new abode ???
( I have in mind a situation wherein a move back into a care/nursing home is the only realistic option. )
A case of burning bridges … fine … until one may have to cross back again ?
thanks for the reply
the moving mum out of the care home decision was made for her well being and happiness and as for putting her back in care this is not an option as her quality of life has improved no end since moving out of the home not to mention her physical and mental health
Present situation.
Income wise … an online benefits calculator which will reveal the benefits/allowances out there … including those for your mother ;
we are sort of stuck in limbo here as we don’t know what my wages would be until work decide if I can either work from home ( then most of the issues go away ) or if I can go parttime back in the office
If your mother is already receiving Attendance Allowance, that can trigger the payment of Carers Allowance to you.
Outside support.
What help are you getting?
none at the moment as don’t know whats available to me have basically I just got on with things on my own as didn’t want to trouble anyone
Needs and Carer Assessments up to date?
they came out and fitted a grab handle to the front entrance door that’s all they have done
CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare … a factor here?
sorry don’t know what this is as I said I just took on caring for her myself as I could offer better care than she was getting in the home
( Folkestone area … help … what sort … I will then do an Internet search for you. )
just some support people to talk too
Others will be along to extend their welcomes and to add their insights.
Can I go back to when dad sold the home to pay for mum’s care?
How old were they at the time???
(This is a very serious question, don’t ignore it!
It may be that you parents should never have felt it necessary to sell the house to pay for care fees in the first place, you might even be able to claim them back!)
The reason they went into the care home was mum was in and out of hospital for various reasons and ended up getting sent to a rehabilitation centre in Tenterden but dad had dementia that was get worse very quickly to the point of wandering off to the hospital at all times of the day and night.
he was then put into an emergency care center in Canterbury and that is when mum made the decision to sell the house to put them both in residential care but obviously because of dad’s dementia she had to find a care home that would be able to manage with his condition and also be able to care for her needs as she has all her mental facilities her issues are severe arthritis.
Will need to check some dates regarding how old they both were when the house was sold
The house we live in now is in my fiancee and my sons name as they earn the higher amount. As I said I was myself very poorly and have been signed off work long term so my wages are next to nothing.
mum used what money was left from the house sale and the care home had bled them dry to put down a sizable deposit on the house