Do you think my nana has been neglected by care home?

I had been my nans carer for the last 18 years.
She moved into a care home 6 weeks ago.
She has advanced dementia and is 99 and is very frail (she weighs under 5 stone )
A week ago I called and spoke to her,her speech was mumbled and incoherent.
I voiced my concerns and the staff said she had just woke up.
Wednesday I called she was in bed at 2pm exhausted.
Thursday they got the GP to do a face time with her and the GP said it must be a infection.
They prescribed Amoxicillin.
I told the home on Thursday she suffers from recurrent UTI every 5-6 weeks and exhaustion and lack of appetite were her only symptoms.
I asked them to ring the doctor again as she is resistant to amoxicillin for UTI and to get her to do a water sample if possible.
Friday rang at 4pm …they hadn’t rang the doctor and said no out of hours doctors were on duty from the surgery so would have to wait till Monday.
She hadn’t drank anything since Wednesday.
Saturday she had deteriorated,not speaking,drinking or she eating.
Once again told is just general wear and tare with her age.
I said no this is a UTI she needs proper treatment.
Sunday the home rang and said she was unresponsive and floppy.
A ambulance called
The hospital have found she has a UTI and severe Dehydration.
They have said the dehydration has effected her kidney function.
They said her lips were stuck together from dehydration.
I’m so upset
This isn’t right is it?
Why didn’t they ring a GP Friday ?
Explain she wasn’t drinking fluids just asleep 24/7
I don’t know if she’s going to recover
She was fine before this infection
The doctor said this infection must have been going on a couple of weeks.

Hi Sarah,

YES I do think your Nana has been neglected.

How upsetting for you and distressing for her.

You did right to keep on top of them.

Is it a Nursing home and are they used to caring for patients with dementia?

You need to make an official complaint and report the home to CQC and the adult safeguarding team.

Keep us updated about your Nana.


Oh Sarah
I feel distressed for you. I had to fight my husband’s corner when he was in a nursing home, but he wasn’t left to the extent your poor Nana has been. The hospital should contact the home and state she has been neglected. Homes have out of hours doctors, regardless of the lockdown.
Please contact the care quality commission, to report them.
Is it a care home or nursing?

Hello Thankyou for taking the time to reply.
It’s a care home but it has a specialist dementia unit.
She’s very poorly,I’m angry that I trusted these people to look after her.
I feel to blame for choosing this care home.

you aren’t to blame. A care home with a specialist dementia unit should know better and they should have been keeping a record of how much she ate and drank and have noticed she wasn’t going to the bathroom. They should also listen to carers who know their family member best.
If it weren’t for the pandemic, you would be able to visit her regularly too and would have seen what was happening sooner.
None of this is your fault. Thank goodness she is in hospital now.


Sarah you definitely are not to blame!! Someone needing care in a home is heartbreaking enough, and we feel no choice but to trust. I learned not to fret if hubby hadn’t been shaved or the dinner didn’t look appealing, but I most certainly wanted his health to be monitored and expected it. Sadly with lockdown, you haven’t been able to visit, and see for yourself. That is not your fault. You obviously love your Nana very much and are very caring.
Please don’t feel guilty or angry with yourself. Won’t do you any good and won’t help.
Sending you a hug ((()))

Sarah, welcome to the forum.
Have a big (((HUG))) from me for caring for Nan. You are cleariy a very kind and loving grand daughter.
This should not have happened. The home should have listened, the doctor should have visited.
Something is clearly going very, very wrong at this care home.
All care homes have to be regulated by the Care Quality Commission.
Ring them up and tell them what has happened, or email them.
They will probably ring you about to discuss your complaint further, and then sort things out so this never ever happens again to anyone else. You must speak up not just for nan, but for the other residents who may have no one to speak up for them.
Don’t be afraid to complain, they won’t tell the home who complained. My mum had an issue and it was dealt with really well.
Are you Nan’s only relative left?

Hi. For sure she has been neglected. I agree with others here. She may also have added delirium. They should have recognised this decline. No excuse for not acting over weekend. Should have been obvious she was dehydrated.

However sad you are, you are certainly not to blame, quite the contrary. The hospital/doctor should have initiated a safeguarding complaint. Please report to cqc and to adult social services as a safeguarding issue.

No my nana has a son also but he lives abroad.
I’m her next of kin.
I don’t understand how it wasn’t obvious she was dehydrated.
She hadn’t been awake for days,she hadn’t drank for days.
The doctor says she does have delirium too.
I don’t know if that’s because of the UTI or the dehydration.

Sorry I said your Mum, rather than your Nan.

My mum had uti and got delirium and did become dehydrated. You would think they’d notice her lips when they bathed, fed or cleaned her mouth. Let alone her not drinking.

I really don’t understand how they didn’t especially when the knew she wasn’t drinking.
She’s had 5 bags of fluids now and she’s on the antibiotics.
I just really hope she gets better.
All her tongue has scabs on with the dryness
Her eyes are sunken
It’s just awful

Your Nana’s condition does sound severe. Do not let the home get away with this. It’s truly appalling and needs investigating.

Hello Sarah

I was sorry to read that your nan has not been well. From the details you’ve provided we thought that you may want to make a complaint about the treatment your nan has received in the care home. I’ve therefore forwarded your post to Carers UK’s helpline and will send you an email with the advice they provide. This could take up to five working days.

Wishing you and your nan well


Thankyou Michael that’s really helpful.
Consultant rang today and her bloods showed her infection is coming down and her kidney function is now improving.
It’s still early days but fingers crossed it’s going in the right direction.
The consultant asked how I feel about her going back to that care home.
I think she knows her care wasn’t at the standard it should have been.
Would you move her care homes ?
Find something else.
I’m not sure I have any faith in them anymore.

Can I ask how your nana was funded? Was she paying her own fees, or were they paid by Social Services, or the NHS?
Personally, I don’t think you would ever feel able to trust them again?

They are funded by the council as she doesn’t have any savings.

Ask the consultant to arrange for an “NHS Continuing Healthcare” assessment for Nan. It might just mean the NHS will fund a better home than Social Services, however it’s a bit of a postcode lottery. Does nan own or rent her home?

Definitely, I wouldn’t trust them to water a houseplant, let alone take care of a vulnerable old lady.

I’d want her to go elsewhere. I’d contact social care services and also the adult safeguarding team and complain to both. Also talk to the consultant who asked you if you wanted your Nan to return to the same home.

At the hospital mum was in, there was a nursing manager in the a&e who reviewed elderly persons’ social care arrangements.

I would think that a&e and/or your nan’s consultant would be obliged to flag her case as a safeguarding event. In any event you can start a safeguarding case. In my experience, the safeguarding case resulted in a change of care company.

I’m glad to hear your Nan has been responding to her treatment in hospital.

Please be aware that the delirium may linger well after the uti has been brought to where it can be treated with tablets rather than IV antibiotics. I wouldn’t be in any hurry for the hospital to discharge your nan.

Hi everyone just a little nan update.
She has been brighter today and has ate her tea.
She’s been singing to the nurses today.
She’s such a little star.
I’m going to try and find the best care home /nursing home possible.