Henrietta,
One well written letter written by a solicitor politely telling SSD to get lost, or words to that effect, should stop this nonsense before it goes any further and be the quickest way possible of stopping the stress. Well worth paying to me.
That’s why I think ideally Ron should postpone the meeting, emailing them (not just telephone - emails are ‘not deniable’!) to say something like:
‘Thank you for organising a meeting with me on xxx in respect of my parents (insert names). However, I need to consult their lawyers first, to understand what, as my parents’ representative in respect of the PoA they granted me on their behalf, I am, or am not, permitted to say. I’m sure you will understand that everything must proceed in a legally approved fashion. I will let you know when I have been able to discuss this with my parents’ lawyers, and when our postponed meeting can subsequenty take place’. Yours sincerely xxx’
Then, as BB urges, use some of your PARENTS’ money - as it will be spent on THEIR behalf! - to engage a lawyer who can take this up, and, ideally, send a letter direct to SS tellng them to but out!
If SS get in touch with YOU again, just politely tell them you are referring ALL correspondence on this matter to your parents’ lawyers.
Remember to be civil and ‘apparently’ cooperative but TOTALLY ‘uncommunicative’!
PS if you insist on going to the meeting DO NOT AGREE TO ANYTHIGN!
Keep saying ‘This is for my information only, and I have to discuss everything to do with my parents’ welfare and well being with their lawyers’.
You’ll probably sound like a parrot, but keep saying it. Just do NOT agree to anything at all. It will NOT be in your interest, or your parents’ interest …it will ONLY be in the interests of the social workers and their budgets!!!
Hi Ron
What a pickle.
From what you have said it does seem that you have done the right things for the right reasons BUT somewhere along the line someone, maybe the socialworker has got concerns that your parents have been moved against their will and they have a duty to report that, hence why it is a Safeguarding meeting. A Safeguarding meeting is very different matter from any Care Assessment or financial assessment (which are what the other responses are more used to)
Remember at this stage they know very little of the circumstances and the background.
It’s better that you see this as an oppotunity to explain things to them
Google ‘safeguarding’ and get informed before you go.
As a minimum take the full copy of the power of attorney with you.
(In the Ombudsman cases reported in the past couple of weeks Councils have been found at fault for ignoring or delaying safeguarding reports so they are now very twitchy about them)
For a moment, put yourself in the social workers shoes, if they were to miss a case where a vulnerable old person has been forced out of their home and out into residential care and greedy relatives run off with all the money, they would be in serious trouble, and probably in the tabloids too!!!
I do think it’s worth getting legal advice, and talking with the Home Manager. it does sound like you have done things right, but there could be unforeseen pitfalls.
Do keep us posted, many of us could be in similar situation , especially where we have ‘moany carees’
AND I wouldn’t follow Jennys last advice, safeguarding issues are very important and avoiding them could be seen as worsening the situation (sorry Jenny!)
Kr
MrsA
Ron
I believe the safeguarding meeting could well go ahead without you to be honest, so I agree with Mrs A that you should attend. You could, when in the meeting say that it must be put on hold as you need clarification on issues of you are not happy. I’m sure they are then obliged to arrange another one.
Good point! You definitely want to be there in that case - but don’t commit to anything at all, and challenging anything they ‘decide’. Keep mentioning your parents’ lawyers!!!
Ron, did you know that under the Care Act you are entitled to have an advocate of your own? I have one, really helpful.
Thanks again one and all.
Apparently SS have been asking dad what has happened to the money from the house sale. He told them he does not know and to ask me. I understand where SS are coming from as they don’t know me, they don’t know that I am honest. Talking to dad today I think he had told them that in the last few years I have never shown him what is happening with his savings.
The reality is that I am very good at keeping records and took him a spreadsheet every month and a bank statement to leave with him. Everytime an investment ended I recorded where it had gone and always gave him three choices for new investments. Of course he has no memory now so it’s only my word that I did so.
The money from the house sale has not come through yet but when it does I intended to and still will show him a bank statement showing the money going into his account and the bill from the sale of the house. Obviously I can’t divert it anyway as wrightly so it has to go into my parents bank. Surley SS will know that !
My bigest frustration is that so called professionals who deal with the elderly everyday as part of there job, just seem to be oblivious to both of my parents confusion and forgetfulness. It seems to all come down to my word against two people who can’t remember what you have spoken to them about.
I still feel very pressured to show SS the said bank accounts and spreadsheet but after advice from you guys will not. However I am filled with dread where this will leed.
Ron, Please don’t worry too much about this, you are absolutely “squeaky clean”. It just shows how dad’s memory is.
Great you’ve kept detailed records. All the more reason for ‘handing them over’ NOT to the SS, but to ‘your parents’ lawyers’.
I really wouldn’t give SS any more information than they legally entitled to ask for (and do NOT believe what they tell you about what that is!). Let the lawyer debate with them!
I have 40 years experience of dealing with accounts. From my experiences, social workers can’t even understand money records for £100, so you will have a far greater understanding than them
At least you made me laugh.
My son has severe learning difficulties, can’t read write or do any maths and is reliant on carers to support him to budget. There have been endless problems. I’ve offered to show staff what to do, rejected as I’m the parent. So whilst I was trusted to manage the accounts for a hospital, I’m not trusted by SSD?!?! M has a budget of £100 a week for food and activities, the record spend was £260 in one week.
I’ve actually had to show the person now managing the entire LD department in my LA, why the accounts she could find “nothing wrong with them” were actually awful - the amount at the end of the week never tallied with the amount at the beginning of the next week!
.
If you can do it, accidentally push the record button on your phone.
I think that may be illegal. I have dim memories that it is illegal to record someone else without their permission, and permission is unlikely to be gratned alas. I can remember earlier discussions on this forum where a carer was refused ANY right to record a HIGHLY contentious interview they were forced to have.
To my mind, the ‘innocent’ do NOT mind being recorded. Only the ‘guilty’ object!!!
However, of course, if the button is pressed accidentally, well, that’s just an accident then, isn’t it?
Please do visibly take notes, and also insist you know who everyone is at the meeting, and writing down their names, and their titles. Put them on their guard, as in, shows them YOU will hold them to account for what they say.
Pause the conversation whenever you want, to say ‘OK, so you are saying the following - .xxxxx . Have I got that right?’ Then write down what it is they’ve said, and that they’ve agreed that is what they said!
And above all, don’t give out information yourself. Just make a note in writing that ‘Mrs X asked for the following information’, and keep repeating like a parrot that you have to check all this with your parents’ lawyers. (If asked who they are, tell them the lawyers will be getting in touch with them anyway, in due course!)
But do not be ‘antagonistic’ - smile and be civil, smile and be civil. And TOTALLY ‘evasive’!
Yes Jenny, it was me who was refused permission to record a meeting. I was told that someone would write minutes, they were unbelievably biased and signed off by SSD as being correct when they were not. Good job I had an advocate at that meeting.
However, an “accident” might be different.
I knew it was someone ‘bolshy’!!! 
Feeling very anxious about the safegaurding meeting tomorrow. I believe it is to talk about mum and dad wanting to go 200 miles back to their home town, although that’s not what mum and dad are telling me.
This is the whole problem, they seem to be telling me one thing and SS something else. When they speak to me my parents seem very confused and very convincing that they want to stay near me. Neither of them remember the three visits from SS, it’s all so frustrating.
Another worry is dad is telling SS that I have never keapt him informed about his savings and bank account. I think that’s why they asked to see this information. I always gave dad statements and spreadsheets that he kept in a file and we always discussed new investments.
On Saturday I spoke to dad about this and he said he remembers me taking these to him. But then half an hour later he said that I had never shared the information with him. Arrrrghhhh!!
At least my sister is coming today to attend the meeting so it’s not all on my shoulders for a change. I spent the last twenty five years as a prison officer working in high security prisons. I dealt with the worst criminals in society, never did I go on duty once feeling as stressed as I am now.
I have decided that although I know it’s absaloutly the wrong move for my parents and will be very upsetting, if SS recommend them moving I am just going to let them sort it all out and make it clear they take over responsibility.