Borderline daughter


I am new here but I have been looking at some posts regarding people caring for a bpd.

My daughter I’d BPD or as a consultant put it “full blown” BPD. She is very difficult to manage and I have come to the point where physically and mentally I cannot do it anymore. I love her dearly but I have let go of chasing here as she won’t engage with services. I will always be there for her but only when she is ready for support. She drinks excessively to dampen her symptoms. Has anyone got any advice if what I am doing is right or wrong.


Hi Kay,
welcome to the forum.
I don’t have any direct experience of caring for someone with MH problems, but others will come along who have.
I believe the MIND website has lots of info and helpline too, so worth a website.
I agree you can’t force your daughter to engage with services, only she can decide to do that.


Hi Kay

Sadly I can’t give you any advice but can only let you know that you are not alone. My 19 year old BPD daughter lives with me and her daughter (my granddaughter) who is 2 1/12. I am really struggling to cope with the mess, chaos, manipulation and lies but she can’t leave as she can’t even look after herself let alone her daughter. I’m just hoping that things will get better as she gets older. I hope you are feeling a bit better since you last posted.

All the best

Mind ?

THE experts when it comes to mental health and ancillary issues :

Their guidance for carers is also out of the top drawer :

CUK … scatter gun … a general guide.

MIND … a laser beam.

Hi Kay,

How old is your daughter. Is she on any medication or getting regular support?

She is apparently an adult, and whilst she might be your daughter, she has no RIGHT to live at home with you, and you CANNOT be forced to care for her.

When did Social Services last give you a Carers Assessment?

Bpd is very difficult. I struggle to cope with caring for my daughter who has this diagnosis. You cannot force a person to get treatment. I have set a boundary which I will not cross and within that I try to do what she wants.