I had similar thoughts earlier, keeping my phone turned off most of the time but maybe checking it at roughly the same time once a day. I will tell the care home that I’ll be away so could they phone my brother instead of me. Thanks Victoria.
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Letting go can be hard, but you know they have 23/7 care and your brother is on hand. Tell the home to ring him, NOT YOU, if needed. When mum was in residential care after years of illness, the GP told me I must go on holiday even if the worst happened, I was exhausted. Just in case, I contacted the funeral director who I’d used before, and made tentative arrangements, and told the home what I’d arranged. Mum survived for a few more months.
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We did a deferred payment agreement with the council when mum went into a care home. This allowed us to rent out her home which has helped towards the care fees. And another little known fact is that if you pay via a deferred payment scheme you are charged by the care home via the council at council rates. We are now in the process of selling her house as the tenant has moved out and j have been told when we self fund they will be charging me at a higher rate! I think it is appalling that self funders have to to subsidise councils. After the 12 week disregard we hadn’t finalised the deferred payment scheme but the council put the account on hold until we did so we were not out of pocket.
Thanks Helen and Bowling Bun.
That’s very interesting what you were saying about paying at Council rates Helen. After I’d worked out in my head what I thought my parents would have to pay each month, I wondered if there was something I didn’t know about which might alter the figures and you’ve mentioned something which could make a difference. The figures can be scarily big when they are self-funding can’t they? Thanks for sharing how you’ve gone about it and how things are going.