Confused as a male carer working with females

Hi all, sorry if this is in the wrong place but I need some advice and hoped someone get could help

I recently started working as a care assistant in a nursing home for people with dementia

I really like it, but there has been something troubling me for a while… And today I had a meeting with my supervisor and we discussed it at length

The long and short of it is : our work policy states that I’m male so I shouldn’t be helping females with their personal hygiene needs on my own

And that would be fine, except all the other male carers ignore this rule, and really, I appreciate that you don’t need two people to help one lady wash. . Or change their pad etc… So this rule may protect male carers, but the way the home works and staff work means the rule is ignored because it would make the whole home less efficient and wastes time…

So If i stand my ground following the rules to the tee, I’m basically slowing everyone down… Forcing my female partner to do half their normal work and it take twice as long (we split the home up into groups, looked after by pairs of carers)

My supervisor (male) said he knows the policy but it wouldn’t work if he followed it to the tee… It would just take too long if each resident required two carers. And he just knows certain ladies not to go in to on his own. (presumably because they’ve accused people in the past) . And his method is to ask his female partner to swap with him and he’ll help an easier lady

I agree it’s not efficient to have two carers assisting each resident with washing. But im really not happy with how wishy washy that is, after all… How do I know which ladys throw around allegations?
I’m young, training to be a nurse and I’m not willing to risk ruining my career before it’s even started

Is this rule commonplace? I. E. One man can’t help a female resident with personal care?

And do you have any advice on how to approach this?

Hi Gregory,
this forum is primarily for carers who look after family members and friends, although a few of the members have done/do paid care work too.

It’s my opinion, the rule is there for a reason - to protect both vulnerable residents and also the staff. I would look for a job elsewhere and if you are concerned about safeguarding then I would contact the adult safeguarding team in your area.


Thanks for your reply,
I think youre right, I’ll seek employment elsewhere

I appreciate your reply :blush: