i share a house with a lady suffering with chronic Parkinson’s and i have a variable time job as an agricultural contractor, she wont follow the advice from therapists and her muscles are almost useless, she keeps getting herself into situations i have to get her out of due to not thinking ahead and sometimes exacerbated by poor management of her medication. While work is slow i can cope but some days i can be doing 14hr days for a week or more and the mental pressure of what will greet me when i get home is making life very stressful, She keeps refusing to get home help and i’ve reached a point of needing to ask her to move to sheltered accommodation, however if this does happen i think that she will have to give up work and i know she is petrified that no one will come to visit her. How can i reconcile the dilemma with the best result for both of us.
Hi @strawman, welcome to the forum. It is a hard one to give a good answer as it lies with you and the family. I would suggest contacting the carers helpline for extra advice as they might be able to point you in the right direction.
Good luck.
A bit more background about the existing situation might help us unravel this difficult situation.
Legally, no one can be forced to care, even a wife for a husband.
Nothing will change unless you force change.
Either she can’t or won’t see how difficult things are for you.
Are there any family in touch with her?
What right does she have to live with you? Do you own or rent the house? Have you ever been a proper couple? Does she pay rent? Have entirely separate accommodation?
How old are you both?
Parkinson’s can make people prone to developing dementia.
Is her behaviour showing any signs of deterioration?
This would mean that living in her own flat might not be appropriate now, but a care home. If she has over about £23,000 in savings she would have to fund the care herself, below that figure after a Social Services Needs Assessment.
Sometimes it helps to set a deadline for them ie “By Christmas Mary must be living somewhere else”. Ask us anything, we are here to help.