Caring for my daughter

Hi all, just joined caters U.K. last night out of sheer desperation for some outside support. My daughter, soon to be 13, is ill with what we think is ME but we’ve not had it formally diagnosed. Her mood is like a roller coaster and yesterday especially I didn’t feel like i handled it very well at all. I have other children too who saw me in the aftermath - I don’t want them seeing me like this - and I’m meant to be helping?! Also just had to hand my notice in for work which has rubbed it all in. So tired, isolated, and I can feel lacking in confidence as time goes on…all
Things I know my daughter is feeling - sometimes I think I’m making it worse for her! Sorry for ramble, still feeling fragile. I’m guessing none of this will
Be new :wink: Helen

Hey Helen

Sorry to hear you have hit a low. We have all been there at some point! The art is not to beat yourself up! You are not super woman. I was until recently carer to two elderly parents and now just my Mum. I also have two youngish children. There were points when I totally lost it with my kids due to the pressure of caring. Not proud moments! And not how I wanted to be as a Mum, but I chalk it up to experience. Also I don’t think a bad thing for them to see you are human. If I have been unreasonable I always say sorry and try to explain why.

Really hard that your daughter’s moods are up and down, I am guessing mix of being poorly and hormones. Is she able to go to school at all or is she too poorly? Has her school been supportive?

Really important for you to get some time to yourself, particularly if you are giving up work. Do you have a partner? Could they take over of an evening for you to meet friends get some exercise etc regularly. Also important to take time with the other kids if you can.

Have you been in touch with social services for a needs assessment for your daughter and a carers assement for you?

Sending a big virtual hug


Needs assessment :

Getting a social care needs assessment - NHS

Carers assessments :

Carer's assessment | Carers UK

Word to the wise ?

Waiting times … a real post code lottery out there.