I cared for my husband Frank for a long time ,he had COPD and heart disease, the last 4 yrs he was on home oxygen, nebulizer and a daily concoction of drugs not only was he housebound but so was I,I often resented my situation but believe me since he passed away at home in August I am totally bereft and don’t know how to conduct my life now,I am so alone after having daily nurses, palliative care workers,doctor ect daily I now see no one, please be careful what you think is a better life it really is not
Hi Margaret, after I was widowed I came across a book called “Starting Again” by Sarah Litvinoff, designed with divorcees in mind, but very appropriate for widows too.
Have you joined “Way Up” an online forum for widows over 50? If not, please think about it, they do activities, meals, holidays etc.
I can also recommend a lovely hotel in Crete for single travellers only, where I learned to laugh and live again. It’s called the Mistral, in Maleme. Feel free to send me a PM if you want to give it a try. You won’t regret it!
Thank you ,will definitely look these up
Hi Margaret, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, Frank. You obviously miss him very much.
You were a devoted wife to Frank and you made a lot of sacrifices so that you could be there for him right till the end.
I hope you are well enough to get around by yourself. Perhaps in the future you’ll think about contacting old friends or making new ones. Have you any family nearby?
In some places they have ‘Bereavement groups’ where you can join others who have recently lost a loved one.
You don’t have any hobbies do you, or if you did, you abandoned them to look after your husband.
I have hobbies and I pursue them all as often as I can and will continue to do so, I could easily fill every day without looking after my wife.
Find a hobby or pastime, walk in the woods, learn how to paint, you’re free, you can do whatever you want.
As he died just two months ago, it’s quite normal for your feelings and emotions to be all over the place, and expect this to go on for a few months I’m afraid. I’ll warn you now, that 6 months is the very lowest point, when all the organisation is over and you will feel very alone and vulnerable, but from then on, it’s gradually better.
For the moment, make sure you are taking care of your own body.
Sleeping may be a challenge. If so, ask your GP for something gentle to help you.
Exercise - at least, take a short walk every day, ideally somewhere new or different.
Eat well. I couldn’t be bothered to cook for just me, so had quick and easy food some days, then went to a garden centre where they had “ready to eat” food. Our local one is so popular that you have to book tables, they have delicious casseroles in a bain marie, and then they cook fresh veg. to order, which doesn’t take long, carrots are in little sticks, broccoli, cauliflower etc.
If you don’t east and you don’t sleep the world seems far blacker when you wake up hungry at 3am!