In my early days of employment there was a notice in the workshop: “The job is not finished until you have tidied up.” Hence this is closely related to no. 3 of this series.
The truth is that neither my caree nor I are as tidy as we used to be. In my case, since tidying is the final stage of doing a job, pressures from the caree can postpone the tidying process. Even when the tidying has been completed, upsets can happen. For example, I have cooked the meal, which we have finished, then I have cleared up the dishes. The kitchen is starting to look tidy again. Then my caree asks for something else to eat. I need to unsettle the kitchen again. I am running short of time to start my next job and I say to myself, “To hell - the kitchen can wait till later.”
I have coping strategies, but they are not consistent with common ideas of tidiness. For example, when I arrive home and cast off clothing, to save time I chuck clothes into my “floordrobe”. This is an area of the floor between my bed and the window, out of sight from the bedroom door. I am not proud of this arrangement but fits domestic routine.
There are always periods of the day when I am waiting in suspended animation. Sometimes my caree says she will require assistance in the bathroom in five minutes time. At bedtime I assist her in the bathroom, then there is a waiting period for a few minutes while she dries herself off, before I see her into bed. Instead of doing nothing in these waiting periods, these are the times to tidy the “floordrobe”, the kitchen or whatever.
My caree also has coping strategies which could be construed as untidy. She still has a very active mind, and spends a lot of time in the study organising things for societies we belong to. She opens a drawer of the filing cabinet and uses it as a temporary support for her bag and her walking sticks. She piles papers and books on the printer. (This can be a nuisance; they need to be removed if we need a photocopy, or the printer jams.) She positions things so that she can access them easily, and no longer leaves a clean desk when she finished, as she once used to, but now and then we do have a tidying session, when I put away lever-arch binders, which are too heavy for her to handle.
Overall the carer-caree situation tends not to support tidiness. I do not exalt material things, such as house-pride, above welfare and well-being.
How do others cope?