Have the hospital staff said what the purpose of the meeting is? Has the advocate said when she would be available to attend?
So sorry you’re going through all this.
I did attend a meeting, once, regarded CHC for my late husband. The social worker didn’t turn up, and I couldn’t face yet another cancellation. I had done my homework, thoroughly, had facts in front of me that couldn’t be denied or twisted. Not easy.
Is this meeting official, or just a chat to explain the situation?
The advocate should find a date to be with you. Telling you they are at melting point is most unfair, and frankly not your concern.
Your solicitor is wrong to tell you the same in my opinion. Not much help to you.
If possible, explain to the hospital that Friday isn’t convenient to everyone, and ask for a reschedule, to suit everyone concerned.
I’m so sad you are going through this.
Don’t be bullied, and ask for another advocate if this one can not give you the support you need. The solicitor should find time to contact the hospital and express why he feels the handling of it is wrong, and arrange a date that is suitable.
Others will be along with advice I’m certain.
Faye,
I’ve done this.
Before the meeting I wrote my agenda for the meeting, typed it up, and printed about 10 copies.
I handed them round at the start of the meeting. Stunned silence. This was apparently the first time a relative had done this!
Every time they went off my agenda, I’d bring them back to it, explaining that whilst they could talk amongst themselves, this was MY only opportunity to talk to them, and there were questions that needed answering.
Make sure they all introduce themselves TO YOU properly, by going round the room. Have a notepad, if they say their names too quickly, ask them to repeat it so you can write it down properly.
DON’T LET THEM TALK DOWN TO YOU.
Every time they started using jargon, even if I secretly knew what it meant, I asked them not to use jargon, it was completely unsuitable for a meeting with a family member. They didn’t like me pulling them up on it each time, but again, it showed that I was going to be heard.
If dad has had a CHC assessment that said he didn’t need it, or they want to delay it for a few weeks, but now they are saying that he’s so frail that he CANNOT go home at the moment, then that means he needs more care than Social Services can lawfully provide, so he DOES QUALIFY FOR CHC.
Therefore they should do a CHC assessment without further deiay!
I’m not clear if he’s getting dialysis at the moment. If not, why not? This is surely an essential part of his health plan?
To ignore such a crucial part of his health needs would be NEGLIGENT.
Hope that helps.
Arrive in plenty of time, wear smart clothes, have a tea and wee before the meeting, so you are really comfortable.
If the meeting starts late (another trick) then pick them up on that too, it’s very disrespectful, they are paid to attend, you are not.
Yes, I can be the very worst relative they’ve ever had the misfortune to meet with!
My sole aim at a meeting is not to make friends with them, but to make sure my relative has the care he/she needs.
It might also be worth asking at the beginning of the meeting to clarify what the meeting is aiming to achieve? (The answer of course is getting their bed back, but they might not say that).
Sorry, this isn’t in perfect order, I’m supposed to be making a chocolate birthday cake for grandson, 7 today.
Pet and Bb have given excellent advice. I have attended one safeguarding meeting against carer agency with the local authority and a formal meeting where I complained about hospice care.
If Friday is not convenient for you or the lawyer or advocate, then reschedule the meeting for when it is. Tell the lawyer to contact the hospital (email or letter) if you think it necessary.
Will someone be writing up minutes? If not, write down the outcomes, as you understand, and send copy to hospital, solicitor and advocate.
For any follow up action items, ask who is to be responsible and when they will be accomplished and the expected outcome. Follow up accordingly.
Write a list of items YOU want to cover and what you want to achieve. Be as specific as possible. Be prepared to give specific examples of previous incidents as appropriate.
Don’t feel obliged to accept on the spot what they say or offer. Ask for time to consult with your solicitor/advocate/father.
Remember that you are not obliged to stop work to care for your father, how ever much they might like you to.
Make it clear at the start of the meeting, that as they arranged the meeting without checking if it was convenient for dad’s solicitor and your advocate.(a big hint that they haven’t done their jobs properly).
Make it clear that your role at the meeting is therefore limited to LISTENING to what they say.
Under these circumstances it would be INAPPROPRIATE for you to make any decisions without the opportunity of discussing things further with dad’s solicitor and your advocate. Watch them squirm!
Probably worthwhile contacting your solicitor to ask if they approve of your attending the meeting alone. After all, if they are representing your father it’s probably good to see if they advise against, or what pointers they offer you.
Please I need urgent help. The hospital have just phoned to say they are going to discharge Dad at 5pm today. Nothing is in place or agreed. What can I do?
Refuse to except him back !
If no one is able to care for him at home , no discharge !
ANY HOSPITAL DISCHARGE IS BY THE BOOK OR … NO DISCHARGE !
Being discharged from hospital - NHS
( Shame you can’t print off the Bible on hosital discharges … a copy for eveyone involved … and then bill 'em double for
what it cost to print out … make that triple ! )
I , and all others , are keeping a close eye on this one … a saga without an ending … as all concerned are FAILING
in their duties to the client … Faye and her father.
Thanks. They have said they will just ask the warden to let him in. I don’t know what to do- am completely broken
In the absence of almost everyone else as I type … the local PALS team at the hospital … report this to them
and seek their urgent assistance.
As a backup , CAB by telephone :
Get advice about health services - Citizens Advice
WHERE’S THE CALVARY WHEN A POSTER NEEDS THEM ???
FIRE !
Thank you. We are in touch with the deputy chief exec but doesn’t look like they are moving. We are trying to get a barrister - we just need the hospital to sort out how his dialysis will fit with the care plan (it doesn’t currently work - he won’t be able to get treatment and will die)- unless I give up work to take him!!
Noted Faye.
Possible Injunction route ???
Still only inadequate me … when it comes to actual caring in 2019 … around !
CAB … time is of the very essence !
Can you inform the warden? Does your father have his doorkey with him in hospital? If he is transferred , Id phone the doctor’s office, speak to out of hours doctor if necessary, and/or district nurses if he has them and complain of unsafe discharge and ask them to get him readmitted. If necessary, if your father’s health is suffering, I’d call 999.
Do the carer agency/social services know of the hospital’s intention and are they ready for him tonight? Have you phoned that darn advocate?
Faye, this hospital is breaking all the rules. Completely unacceptable. Ring your local CCCG, Clinical Care Commissioning Group. I’d also be tempted to ring the local TV station, they CANNOT be allowed to get away with this.
Sorry I wasn’t around earlier, just upgraded my broadband and didn’t know where the filter was. Had to ask eldest son. They now come IN THE BOX!!!
That’s me on the idiot stool today.
I’d also suggest ringing the ambulance service, I’m sure they are not allowed to dump someone without making sure there is someone to help a patient settled in.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GIVE UP WORK.
Thank you all for all your help and advice. They discharged Dad - there was simply nothing I could do to stop it. He’s now in bed and I’m going to sleep on the sofa to try and help him get used to being at home. I’m hoping he’ll sleep through the night. I’m exhausted and so scared. Just have to take it an hour at a time. Gosh carers are so vulnerable - you realise how little there is you can do. Thank you for all your help.
Faye
We are here for you. What care package is in place? What is happening about his dialysis?
You must not hesitate to call an ambulance if you feel anything is wrong, or that Dad is unsafe, and that does not include you being there or staying there. They must do well by Dad without using or abusing you.
Xx
Did the local authority carers come for the evening call? Did your father come home with discharge papers? Hope you manage to get some rest tonight. xxx