Buying home with parents - advice

Benefits, finances and funding
1

Hello. I’m thinking of buying a property with my parents. It’s a solution that’ll reduce my risk of constant burnout as it’ll be a lot easier to stay on top of things for both parents. And we can move closer to other family which is helpful for all of us.

My mum is disabled and my step dad is autistic. So I need to be very involved in their lives at all times. Living apart is putting a huge strain on me. Being under one roof will be a lot easier.

My folks can’t afford fees of decent care homes (they’ll need to top up council contributions). Anyway it’s hard to find a home that’s nice, takes council funding and which will accept my mum.

My mum has carers and her savings have just hit the financial assessment threshold meaning the council will need to start making contributions. In the longer term, my parents will always need to cover care costs as council rates don’t cover the care she needs. They do not have a mortgage.

I’ll need to port and pay my mortgage so we can afford a place that meets our needs, can anyone offer any advice? Has anyone done this? How did it work financially?

Also, is me living and earning an income likely to impact their benefits?

2

Don’t do it!
There have been so many people here who have done this and bitterly regretted it.
You need to speak to the CUK Helpline, in confidence, about mum’s financial situation and care costs, council charging policies, and NHS Continuing Healthcare.

3

@EMGEMG Have to echo BB. You have to realise that care needs usually increase over time. You may be able to cope now and work but in a few years? You will then be totally trapped and may sleepwalk into providing 24/7 care. I would agree that you need to talk to the Carers Helpline and the Carers Financial helpline and maybe a solicitor who specialises in these kind of situations. Also if you have a local ‘Support for Carers’ it might be worth contacting them? ‘’

The bottom line in my opinion is that the NHS and the Social Care system is crumbling. It will only get worse. Please do not let your heart rule your head.

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4

Hello, EMGWMG. It seems that you and your parents plan to sell your present houses and buy one jointly near your other relatives. I presume that your parents would use the proceeds of the sale of their house as a deposit on the new house, and you would top this up with your mortgage. Hence you would have a form of shared ownership.

I have a word of warning for anyone contemplating house ownership shared by anyone other than a married couple - BEWARE.

You need to consider what would happen in a few years’ time if one of you wanted to move out and the others wanted to stay put.

If you wanted to move out, you would not be able to trade your ownership of the property, unless your parents could afford to buy out your share. It sounds as though they could not.

If your parents needed to go into care, the council could have a claim on the property, particularly if you were under 60.

I know of a case where relatives inherited a shared property and one person subsequently needed to move out owing to disability.

Many people see the benefit of moving nearer to relatives in their later years. This is fine, as long as you do not risk getting yourself “trapped”.

I must therefore agree with the responses you have already had. You do not need to search far in this Forum to find cases of people trapped in the same home as disabled relatives. Certainly seek advice from CUK or a lawyer over the complexities of this proposal.

You can consider alternatives. For example, could you find suitable sheltered accommodation near to your other relatives? If so, your parents could move to something more affordable and suitable, and you could buy a house in the vicinity, giving both you and your other relatives closer access to your parents, without being tied in any way.

However, against the time saved in caring you would need extra time for your commute to work - unless you have in mind a workplace nearer to your proposed new home, to which you could transfer easily.

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5

As soon as your parents sell their existing house and move to a smaller home, making a nest egg, they will be liable for all their care fees until the capital is used up, roughly speaking. If you own your house, it might be better for you to let out your own house, and rent somewhere smaller near them. Then you each have your own space, but are near each other.
Do they have a garage? When I was disabled in a car accident and had to crawl upstairs, my son moved back in and put me in the garage to sleep! Only after he’d made it a lovely bedroom with en-suite.

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Thanks for the advice everyone.

The idea of buying somewhere close to my parents is a good idea. It’d need to be in the same street to make it worthwhile otherwise the time and effort it takes going back and forth is exhausting - even when it’s a few streets away.

There’s very limited sheltered homes where we live now and where we want to live.

This is how I see things: life is going to get harder due to a failed NHS and council services. They’re not crumbling - they’ve long since been destroyed. And my folks can’t afford a care home. So I need to find a solution.

Will contact the helplines.

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7

Do your parents own or rent their home?
Have over £46,000 in savings? (Just yes/no)

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They own and now below the threshold of £46k.

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In that case, while still living at home, they will be entitled to subsidised care. Once below this threshold, however much extra care is needed, there shroud be no increase in what they call the “client contribution”.
Also assessments can be done individually or jointly. So if mum is being assessed for care, and she has lower assets and income than her partner, it is better for her to be assessed individually. The helpline can explain more.