Being refused by shops for shopping as a family

We keep being refused entry into shops as we shop together, me, my wife and our toddler. My wife has to choose her own food daily due to her autism. If I but something she normally likes she may still meltdown if it doesnt seem right that day.
Shops are often refusing to allow us in together and its causing huge stress. My wife always had her disability card but even that is not helping. Explaining I’m her carer over and over again is getting so upsetting. I cant find anywhere that issues a carers card for proof. My little girl is getting upset with us being upset outside shops. We had a 20 minuets meltdown in the street in the rain after one supermarket refused to let us in and my wife couldnt eat that night. It’s getting so stressful.

Hi David

Yes, it must be so upsetting and annoying.

Would you wife be able to go shopping with a volunteer from a charity. And the volunteer get your shopping at the same time. It’s difficult with shops at the moment. As each shop has a different policy for entry.

If that’s not a option perhaps your local social services or carers group. Could give you a headed letter stating you are your wife’s carer.

It sounds very stressful David. Planning to shop somewhere and then not being able to must increase all your stress levels too. It doesn’t help that people with autism have an ‘invisible’ disability. I expect if she was sat in a wheelchair it might be easier to gain entry together (and I don’t mean any disrespect to any with or who cares for somewhere with a physical disability.)

Are you able to leave your wife and go and to do the main shop either by yourself or just with your daughter in tow? If so, then your wife would only need a few items per day. Perhaps its worth contacting a few of the smaller supermarkets local to you and sussing out who would be sympathetic to your situation and when its the best time to shop.

When the queues were down the street outside each shop, our small, local Spar were great and kept S his paper and TV mag (!) and advised us the best times to go and pick up. He could then buy the other few bits he needed/wanted when it was quieter, knowing he would still get his weekend paper.