Autistic Son

Hi I have a son who is Year 5 at school who is really struggling with learning. Myself I have Aspergers Syndrome and I can see my sort of behaviour in my son and want to get him all the help he deserves.

Myself and my wife (my sons mum) have approached his school and started working with SendCo at his school. We’ve had a meeting with the schools SendCo advisor and my son has had a face to face meeting with the advisor and had a good chat and checked his balance etc.

Myself and my wife have a meeting with the advisor on Friday what should we expect from this meeting? My wife is really stressed out about this.

If we do end up with a doctors appointment with my son what is the process to get his diagnosed? Also is it just dla what you get extra financial help or is there other benefits that we could potentially be eligible for?

Thanks in advance for your help and replies.


Hi John and welcome,

If you son is struggling with learning and coping with school, then a meeting with the school SENCO is the place to start.

Both the National Autistic Society and IPSEA offer advice concerning how to get the best support in school for your child.

There is information about diagnosis here Diagnosis

Regarding information about DLA for children here Benefits for autistic children. Families with a disabled child who are experiencing financial hardship are also able to apply for grants from the Family Fund e.g. if the washing machine needs replacing etc. I don’t know about other benefits I’m afraid apart from Carer’s Allowance Carer's Allowance | Carers UK you could always use a benefits calculator such as Turn2us.


Hi John

I wanted to wish you a warm welcome to the forum and to highlight some of the options for connecting with fellow carers.

Here at Carers UK we want you to know that you’re not alone, we are sure that many on here will understand exactly how you feel and offer support. Caring can be very lonely and the pandemic has made caring responsibilities challenging as many carers have been socially restricted and unable to attend social groups etc.

Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers to take some time for themselves and chat to other carers. Feel free to join if you’d like to and there’s no pressure to share anything you don’t want to.

You can find information on how to register to our online meetups at the following pages:

Care for a Cuppa: Online meetups | Carers UK - the next online meet up is Tuesday 4th May (tomorrow). This social is a great way to have a little break if you are able to and spend some quality time talking to people who understand what you are going through right now.

Share and Learn: Share and Learn | Carers UK - these sessions range from creative writing activities to beginners Latin dance sessions.

Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (

They also provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This covers a range of subjects including:

Benefits and financial support
Your rights as a carer in the workplace
Carers’ assessments and how to get support in your caring role
Services available to carers and the people you care for
How to complain effectively and challenge decisions.

Hi John, I expect the SENCO adviser just wants your opinion about the support needed for your son. Write down the things he is struggling with, for instance - Has your son made friends during school time and after school/weekends?, is he coping with his homework, does he need extra help with maths, writing etc?
If he needs extra support then the school might allocate a Teaching assistant to help him during some of his lessons.
Also mention the things your son likes doing and anything that he is particularly good at such as artwork, football, bike riding etc.
Try not to worry about the meeting on Friday. The SENCO advisers job is to help your son.
Let us know how you get on.

Hi John - the Senco adviser will probably tell you and your wife about things you can do at home to help your son. For instance - reading stories to him, playing imaginative games, board games and encouraging him to manage his pocket money each week etc.