Advice needed

Hi I am new to this site .

Am I an awful person to want to cut my parents out of my life. I am 62 my sole mate and husband passed away 5 years ago and I’m an only child. I have reached a point where I can no longer cope with my parents behavior { they do not have dementia } they have been like this all of my life … the incidents are too numerous to mention mostly verbal but some physical too.
I had counselling last year which helped a lot. I feel guilty for feeling like this but this has gone on long enough .

Thank you everyone who has given advice and for the e-mail I received this morning which are very interesting and thoughtful. I made a decision last year that I will always make the last phone call so I am not doing what they have done to me over the years not contacting for months on end for trivial things ie. not making a christmas cake on the day I said, speaking to my Auntie (my mothers sister ) and a few more.

Actually physically writing this post has helped me and the answers, I don’t treat people like this so why should I accept their behavior, I have challenged them a few times but they are just … words fail me.Thank you again

Hi & welcome Susan

I’m sorry to hear you are not being treated well. Also the loss of your husband.

I am glad there was some help with counselling.

You do not have to put up with being treated badly what ever the circumstances. Drop the feeling of guilt. You have a right to be treated with respect.

Other than the counselling are you able to talk to friends. You can talk away here. There are no judgements.

My mum lost dad when he was 78, my husband died when he was 58, yet mum still thought SHE was the one that was hard done by!!!

How old are your parents? Do you live with them. They have no right to abuse you, physically or mentally.

Hello Susan

Welcome to our forum. I’m sorry to hear you’re having a difficult time. I’m not sure if you’re aware but we have set up a weekly online zoom session which we run every Monday afternoon at 3pm. It’s a time when carers can come together each week, talk and share information. There’s no pressure to share anything you’re not comfortable with.

Please have a look at the joining weblink below Susan and come along if you would like to, we would love to see you there. Many of our members have said they’ve found the sessions really helpful.

with all good wishes