Advice needed please

I’m currently caring for my Mum who is on end of life palliative care and it is really affecting my Mental health and stress levels. I was diagnosed with hidradenitis suppurativa myself in December last year and my own health is declining to the point it is causing friction with my siblings and myself because they don’t take my concerns for my Mum’s health seriously or my own health. I’m also struggling financially now the £20 uplift has been removed and my Universal Credit has dropped to £130 per month after all the stoppages for previous overpayments of working tax credits, advance payments and Council tax arrears from when I was employed and dismissed suddenly at the end of peak left me with no income. My Mum’s care needs have changed since I first started caring for her and I could go home and have some time to myself through the day but I’ve had to sleep on her sofa since they made the decision that she had to have downstairs living on her discharge from hospital. I’m really struggling mentally and physically to the point I’ve forgotten how to help myself. I’m getting flummoxed even trying to fill forms in because I lose focus or get distracted and forget to go back to them. Does anyone know of a service that could come to the house to help with completing forms for benefits online as I only have a pay as you go mobile that I can’t even afford to top up now. I’m in the Doncaster area and trying to get any of my siblings to take time off work to sit with my Mum is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Hi Claire,

It sounds like you are coping with a lot at the moment.

Unfortunately unhelpful relatives are common and often there is one person doing all the caring with others just interfering.

Is your Mum supported by a hospice and is she receiving care visits? She should be funded by CHC if she is receiving end of life care and this free. Does she need more care now than it’s realistically for you to provide? If she needs 24/7 care perhaps you should consider if she now needs to be in a hospice/ nursing home.

I hadn’t heard of your medical condition before, it sounds very painful. Not getting enough quality sleep will also affect your tolerance of pain and stress. If you are staying over at your Mum’s could you sleep upstairs and use a baby alarm so you can listen out for her?

Your financial situation must be very worrying and I think you need to seek advice. The Citizens Advice Bureau are able to help you by negotiating that you have enough to live on and also checking you and your Mum are claiming all you can Contact us - Citizens Advice

You can also contact the Carers Uk helpline

Our telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (>> )

I do know that the DWP sent someone out to fill out a benefit form for Bowlingbun regarding her son.
The contacts above should be be able to advise you on how to get help with forms.


Hello Claire

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many thanks

Claire, welcome to the forum,

Mum is entitled to lots of help, I’m so worried that you don’t seem to be getting any at all.
Do you have a local hospice?
When my dad was dying of prostate cancer, they were so helpful dealing with all sorts of issues.