My daughter is 15 & 1/2. She’ll be leaving school in 3 years. Theres nowhere for her to go that’s suitable after this . I’m in my second year of a law degree and seriously considering just giving up. The reality is its probably not possible to have a career on that level and care full time. Does anyone else have a demanding career and a full time caring role.
What is actually wrong with you daughter. What care needs does she have. There is always somewhere for everyone. It’s if the person who needs help wants it. You do not have to give up your course. Colleges make all sorts of allowance for carers.
She is severely and profoundly disabled, 1 rare genetic condition plus another. Severe epilepsy, tube fed, brittle bones. I appreciate your reply but your incorrect, there isn’t somewhere for everyone. The only place for her is with adults of all ages and abilities, she cant defend herself or remove herself from any situation and I personally wouldn’t have her with able bodied adults that due to their conditions aggression takes place?.
Hi Samantha, please don’t give up your degree, you need to do this, for you.
I did an Honours degree when my son with brain damage was growing up, sometimes I felt I deserved the degree just for getting to college on time!!
There is usually somewhere for everyone, but it’s not easy to find. My friend’s second twin was profoundly disabled at birth, now aged 40, he cannot do anything at all for himself, not even swallow food. He lives in a very small, very special residential home with similarly disabled men. It is a lovely place, the staff are incredibly kind, it’s an enlarged bungalow in a residential street. They are supported to go out into the community, and even attend day services with their own support workers.
Is your daughter’s care currently funded by NHS Continuing Healthcare?
Is she able to attend a special school?
Does she receive highest DLA/PIP?
Once she is 16, her benefits will change, please don’t miss out on any money because no one told you. If there is a local disability advice service, they should be able to go through everything with you. It’s quite complicated as what you get affects what she gets.
I am replying through ignorance/no experience, please forgive, but maybe I can make a suggestion although others here will be better informed.
It seems you are worried about what might/could be the situation in three years time. Three years hence, what stage would you be in your degree? ( I don’t know how long your course takes).
IF, by that time you have a good degree and maybe a good job, is there a possibility that you could employ someone to look after your daughter while you work, or pay for some private care? If you still have time to go, then what is the possibility of ‘time out’ while you sort care/some arrangement and then go back and finish? Taking a year out seems much less drastic than giving up
If you love what you are studying and would really like to carry on, don’t give up . Who knows what solution might be there for you and your daughter in three years’ time? You’d be so disappointed if you gave up now to find later that there was a solution after all.
If you are managing now and probably would for few years, then carry on and make preparations to cross the big bridge when it is actually in front of you.
So sorry that your daughter has so many problems. So hard for both of you. Take the time to explore all possibilities for you daughter once she is an adult. There may well be somewhere for her that you don’t know about or haven’t discovered yet.
What about a care home? I work full time outside the home as a freelance childcare provider and massage therapist. I am also a part time carer for my younger brother who is 3. There are lots of working carers in all regions of Britain.
Can you afford paid for carers or not? Ring social services department and request a needs assessment to be done by a social worker. They should also conduct a financial assessment at the same time. Good luck.
As your daughter is at school. I am guessing school are somehow currently meeting her needs. She must have SEN if that’s the incorrect term. It’s been quite a while since I personally dealt with special needs education. There will be now a transition plan if not one should start now. School and education still have a responsibilities to help/find and assist.
I have looked after many teenagers with physical/medical and learning disabilities. I found those who are unable to access work. Could go to day centres for teenagers and take part in activities/hobbies/life skills.
Hi Samantha , Juggling studying or working and caring stuff however don’t give up on your course you have three years to plan carefully for your daughter. Have you consulted the school she’s at to see where are the students like her go after finishing school? There are increasingly post-19 provision for students with complex needs in day colleges and also specialist residential colleges. Nearby where we live there is a college that takes students with profound and multiple learning difficulties many of whom are tube fed, have trachied etc If there is nothing close by that she could attend as a day student she might be able to attend a residential college during the week and come home at weekends. If not I care package at home. Funding is of course a massive challengeBut don’t give up.