About to become homeless after 10 years of caring my partner

I think it says it all in my title, met my partner 14 years ago, 2 years in we were so happy, then she got poorly with stage 4 endometriosis which took her left ovary, we tried for a baby as it was all we wanted, she ended up in ectopic pregnancy and nearly died at home, on top fibromyalgia ME And FNG, the endometriosis came back, and she developed polycystic overy syndrome, and severe acid refulux from medicine, this has been going on for so long, I’m tired, I’m being used as a punch bag from the hormonal rages, I’m suffering badly with my own mental health and have already tried to take my life, I do everything I can everyday now I feel I need to get away as I’m attacked verbally/physically most days, I have no income I am a 43 year old man with no chance of getting anywhere, I see one answer, and think I have come to terms with it now, I’m trying to reach out for help

Hi Steven … two links for outside help which will be vital in the circumstances so described :

MIND : mental health experts


SHELTER : housing experts


( Income ? An online benefits calculator as a first step : https://www.entitledto.co.uk/ )

Posting on the forum indicates that you acknowledge that outside help is needed.

Take it !

Please contact Shelter they can advise you further.

Stephen, do NOT move out, but get the help for your partner that she clearly needs. It’s really important that you do not make yourself intentionally homeless.
Her behaviour amounts to domestic abuse, she has no right to behave in this way. Talk to the police and google domestic abuse. It’s not a subject I know much about.
If the abuse is really bad, then dial 999.
I suspect no one really understands what is going on, so the first step is gathering evidence. Always have your phone with you and whenever she starts having a go at you, film her. If she doesn’t like you filming her, then record that too! It’s proved to be the quickest way of getting help for dementia sufferers, and should help you too.
Then you need a “safe place” where you live, so you can lock yourself in.

men can call the Men’s Advice Line free on 0808 801 0327 (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm) or ManKind on 01823 334 244

Men can also email info@mensadviceline.org.uk, which can refer men to local places that can help, such as health services and voluntary organisations.

You can go now to your nearest Salvation army.

Please take advice above. No one should have to suffer from domestic abuse. Her illnesses are no excuse. You can more on from this. Making the decision that things have to change is the biggest battle. So well done for posting here.

Let us know how you get on. We are here to help.

I think if she is causing the problem because of her behaviour, then she is the one who should move out, not you.
At the most extreme, you could possibly even had an exclusion order made against her?
I think you should investigate these options, and then have a very serious talk with her about her behaviour and the consequences for her. It might just make her appreciate how dreadful her behaviour is. Certainly call the police if she starts using you as a punchbag, because those calls will be vital evidence if you need an exclusion order.

Hello Steven

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been having a difficult time recently. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve sent you a private message with some suggestions for where you can get further support.

Wishing you well