Why does the NHS treat us family members like we are bad?

14 Days. I’ll see what I can do.

I have an LPA on her health; but the Care Manager is questioning its validity. He says he does not trust that my mam was fully informed when she signed the document. I have evidence that she did get as much info as poss. I printed out the Age UK 42 page fact-sheet on the subject, I gave her the relevant section, to which she studied and underscored sections. That was in December. So she knew as much as me when she signed then. The Care Manager seems to be implying she did not know EVERYTHING; to which I say - he’s being a controlling interfering so and so. I hope he does get legal assistance in cancelling the LPA, because he will have to waste NHS resources to get it. And I won’t even fight him for it; a Pyrrhic victory is all he will get. (already my tone is adversarial - since I don’t like the self-righteous person)

None of it makes sense. I thought we are dealing with Science here. The core activity is “Patient Consensus” and “Patient Rights” being put on self-righteous-sentimental-crap display, that helps no one - but makes the self-righteous Care Manager glow with pride over his “Ethics.” He is so arrogant - I hope he does overturn my mam’s LPA. I hope he does cus - he’ll only get a Pyrrhic victory from me. Knock yourself out - Mr Care Manager.

These people are so caring - you’d think we don’t know - that IT’S THEIR JOB AND THEY GET PAID FOR THE PRETENSE!

It is NOT the job of a care manager to challenge a legal document. It’s his job to RESPECT IT.
How can he possibly know what mum was like before he was involved???
Polite words fail me.

When I see the GP - they refer me to the Mental Health Team (Psychosis Team) and the circle turns in its predictable (who do I have to bribe) manner. So no; I am fully trapped by the NHS system. No cavalry is coming. If I ask - they send me to my “jailers” and I’m back on square one. Same with Social Services. I ask for their help, they refer me to the same Mental Health Team. So - from the GP and Social Services - I’m well and truly cooked (I don’t like expletives - but you can put your own here).

My Social Worker pal - says that I should not answer calls from the Police at 1am in the morning to assist them. Since mam has asked me to move out - I’m no longer duty bound to help in a crisis. I’m only her carer - providing her medication-scheduling, some cooking, some shopping and driving her to appointments. I’m not a Mental Health Crisis person.

I’ve informed the Police this; and I’ve asked them not to ring me in the middle of the night - but they should call Social Services.

It’s probably due to his East European origin. The UK is hot with its Laws, but in the case of LPAs - the Gov has made their creation relatively easy online (as we carers know) This Manager - doesn’t seem to have got the Memo on the LPAs no longer needing a Lawyer to be drawn up. He even said the doc is so weighty - a Lawyer should have been involved in its creation. WHAT AN UTTER FRAUD!

The guy is a registered Social Worker - but where did he get his training from? Some former Soviet controlled country?

Two choices we have; we take legal action or we walk away. I’m inclined to walk away, but a part of me just can’t stomach the injustice of substandard Mental Health personnel handling people’s lives. They are so incompetent - the only guy I trust to know his trade is a guy who seems to be a trouble-shooter, who they bring in to handle difficult cases. Difficult because they can’t do their usual routine of giving pills that aren’t working and relying on the Police to track down rogue elderly patients.

I am now forced to walk away mum still in hospital, wants to go into residential care and the hospital have agreed she has full mental capacity. I have left them to it and now they ring me, say “drop everything” and come and pick her up, we want the be back! I am broken, my family is broken and I can’t even get to my own medical appointments for running around after mum who is unreasonable to me. Also no mental health assessment done coz she has dementia (not) .

What a farce!

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Karen, you CANNOT “drop everything” because they want the bed back, it’s a horrible, horrible situation, I’ve been there myself, stand firm and strong, and think of us behind you. They might want their bed back, but it CANNOT be at the expense of your own health and your own life.

See - this is what’s confusing. None of them have the title “Social Worker.” They however, claim the abilities. The Trust must be allowing this to go on. He is down as a Care Coordinator Manager. So - Social Worker though he may be - I don’t see how he can push major decisions through like he was a god,. He seems to be registered on the HCPC.

What’s so enraging is that we want what’s best for mum; which is proper medication and proper care support. What they offer is - trial and error medication (hope this Trazodone works for you) and 1 or 2 hour visits for chats. They don’t come when mum is having a screaming episode or when mum is having chats with Police about a guy being murdered.

If we want what’s best (simply what we feel a human being should get) - then if they wont or cant offer what we want - then they must be offering something unethical and downright inhumane. Can the NHS be sued for crimes against humanity - in this context? Actually I’ll start a new thread with that as a topic.

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If he is a registered social worker with HCPC, then download their Code of Conduct. If they don’t comply with this then there are very severe sanctions available. I’m considering this as far as my son’s SW is concerned.

I think it’s a cultural thing. I’ve sent this guy a letter, he never replied to it. I thought NHS guidelines requires answers. He is not UK born. The same response from the Psychiatrist - none UK born - did not reply to my letter.

If he’s a registered social worker, I’m sure communicating properly is a key issue. No time to find the details this morning I’m afraid, plumber due to take up my dining room floor at 8am!

The support worker has seen for herself what my mam is really like; and she’s scrambling to get her an urgent assessment. Finally, another person who can corroborate what my mam is really like.

But previously. the Care Coordinator gave my mum the number for the Samaritans - so that she can talk to someone in an emergency. I could not believe my ears. THE SAMARITANS - is being used by the NHS - in reverse? Normally - people see the Samaritans, and then progress to see some NHS mental health person. This is in reverse; what a farce!

Good to hear that someone is on your side.
I have a friend who works for the Samaritans, will “whisper in her ear” about this.
Should see her next week, was in a charity shop this week and found some china to match her existing dinner set, like mine now over 40 years old, so I bought it as a little present for her.

I was thinking my mam has Dementia; but I read a recent study that seems to indicate that Schizophrenics can suffer from serious memory failures. So I can’t really push for a diagnosis. She’s still crazy as ever and the support worker is saying the Police are really concerned. She may get Sectioned.