Where next?whwhere next?

Dear Forum

I posted on this site some time ago after my 26 yr old son was evicted from his supported housing and staying with me temporarily while the support services found him another place. He is now in a residence in Worthing, so they came through in the end but not without a struggle. Thank you to everyone who offered advice. Recently though my son, who has a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, ADHD and neurodevelopmental difficulty has become more disorganised, chaotic and desparate, and it’s taking a toll on me. There does not seem to be any support offered from the Community support team in Brighton other than medication, and infrequent meetings with the psychiatrist when I request them. The Lead practitioner is practically useless and in any case my son does not seem to want to engage with her. Despite discussion of volunteer work previously this has not gone anywhere, mostly I think due to my son’s unrealistic ideas that he can walk into a building job when he wants once he has built his strength up by doing long walks with a rucksack full of weights. He is also intermittently demanding that I get him off the Community Treatment order so he can move in with me with a friend and be part of a community. He wants to have a relationship again with his half sister who is now estranged from me since her mother says she does not want to see me. And all of this is affecting my current relationship because my partner thinks I should do something radical to move Laurence on. I work full-time in London and that has its own demands. But it is more or less the only thing that is solid. I have been living with my partner but have my own flat because I don’t have money to buy somewhere on my own, and she thinks this means I am transient and don’t care. But that’s a different topic really. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. really. What I want to try to find out is what other options my son has for a future direction, if others have been in a similar situation. should I resign myself to the idea that he will be in the same state for the rest of his life, living off the State, not able to manage his own budget, not eating properly or really taking care of himself. Should I give up the idea of a future with my partner and move somewhere with my son? where next? P

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I had counselling which helped me set my priorities when disabled mum and son both wanted all of me, leaving no time for me and my needs. If you can afford private counselling, it can be ongoing. You need some peace in your life for your own well being.

thank you. I have been having counselling for some years now, and while useful it doesn’t help with knowing where to go next … will keep trying. P

I haven’t used these myself but perhaps worth researching - for laurence or yourself

I’ve heard some really good things about this: https://flexa.careers/
hope something helps

Dear Patrick
Our adult daughter has schizophrenia, and likely autism as well.
She has ideas about what she wants to do but they are not really realistic.
Things like actor and dancer.
She was living on her own for about 5 years but the threadbare support, psychiatry and care team offered a few things like joining an allotment but she could not engage.
She was not eating well or caring for herself.
She lives with us again now.
I hope she can stop drinking and recover enough to work but she is far from able at the moment .
I wish there was more help but we haven’t found it yet.
Your love for your son will be a huge help to him.
Keep your work, I gave up working to care realised it did not help and had to find work again.
We are In the same situation as you so feel for you and your son,
Warmly Ula

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